Hetep Everyone,
One of the things that I learned since my last posting was my need to be able to picture in my mind what I want for my egoic self. The reason for this is that my ego must be healthy as well as submissive to Ausar, my true Self. A healthy ego is a happy ego. I have to know that my life here is not about suffering, but about enjoying the experience of living under any circumstances.
Because it has been so difficult for me to believe that I can have what I want, due to crippling anxiety, I have decided to give myself a task, as an experiment.
I'm going to keep a journal of my daily tasks. For each task, I must answer the question what I most enjoy about performing the task. I cannot accept, "I don't know," for an answer. I have to come up with something.
This morning, when I asked what I enjoyed most about waking up and had difficulty answering the question, I knew I was in trouble. Just for the record, after much consideration, my answer was, "Recognizing that I have the power to transform my day/emotions into something enjoyable."
It would be incredible if this experiment leads to a permanent paradigm shift toward enjoying my life.
Until next time,
Hetep
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