Know Thyself -- Who Do You Think You Are?

One of my mother's favorite admonishments to me during my childhood, after I had said something smart-alecky, was, "Who do you think you are?" This of course was a rhetorical question which I knew better than to answer. The question really meant, shut up before you find yourself at Winnfield Funeral Home up the street. I was reminded often that she carried an insurance policy on me. Once, and only once, I got up the nerve to remind her that if she killed me, she would go to jail to which she quickly replied that she didn't care and that she brought me into this world and she could take me out of it.

So many jokes in the black community have been made about this typical interchange between parent and child that we really don't stop to examine the cruelty of it on both sides. The cruelty goes back to slavery, of course, but the demand for respect is ancient. In African Societies, children would have to go through rites of passage in which they were trained and tested in preparation for entering adulthood.

This Hugh Masakela song, African Secret Society, explains the South African tradition for rites of passage for young girls.

Slavery reduced that tradition to a backhand across the mouth or threats of other violence, seemingly always with the admonishment, "Who do you think you are?" -- the question being raised by overseers as well as parents.

What do you say in such a hostile, degrading situation? "I'm nothing? I'm less than you are? I am what I am?" Any answer would provoke violence. This was a typical question from slavery and segregation. A look or movement with the slightest hint that suggested equality could get you killed. Take that last statement literally. The book, 100 Years of Lynching, shows how easy it was for black people to get killed during segregation alone. For what happened during slavery, you would have to read slave narratives.

When you are forced repeatedly throughout your childhood to silently admit your own worthlessness in response to "Who do you think you are?" -- a question raised by parents who were field hands perpetuating a legacy from hundreds of years of abuse -- how do you ever develop a healthy sense of self-worth?

It ain't easy.