Saturday, July 31, 2010

Know Thyself -- Can I Do Bad All By Myself?

This video, "Love Drove Me Crazy" by Trete Lo is two parts, but I'm only posting the first, hoping that you will check out the second part. This is about wife abuse. The video focuses on a woman who is tired of being abused and it shows how damaging a bad relationship can be. Some of it is difficult to watch because you see how two people can degrade themselves believing they each have no choice.

It's funny that I came across this on the day that Mary J. Blige was hosting a show to sell her perfume "My Life," which will help to raise money for her organization, FFAWN: the Foundation for the Advancement of Women, Now, inc. When you think about how Mary survived many relationships like this, it is soul enriching to look at Mary, now. She is so strong. It makes me wonder how she can be so full of love. No, that's wrong. It makes me wonder how I can feel that level of love for myself and others. I survived by not being open and loving, not giving others a chance to hurt me. I've lived my life based upon the philosophy that "I can do bad all by myself."



Sometimes, I used to think that there was something wrong with me because of this, but the women around me who professed how good it was to have a man were always the ones in abusive relationships. I never saw a need to exchange my personal freedom for a man who would hurt me. I felt it was better to develop myself and find out who I am. That's why I love this Gladys Knight song, "The Need to Be."



Although I was so glad to see that Tyler Perry had included Gladys in his movie I Can Do Bad All By Myself, I know that women are not meant to be alone. The real questions are how do I find a man that is man enough to allow me to be a woman and when will I feel fulfilled enough to be woman enough to allow a man to be my man? I know where to find the answers -- where all of my answers are-- on the inside of me. The funny thing is that I'm now actually asking the question.

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