Here is an excerpt from my posting on Day 2 -- Ausar -- of this meditation cycle:
"What will be the end result? No idea. I hope that I will be much more forgiving of myself and more compassionate. I hope that I will be more willing to try new things and perform more consistently with the things I want to keep doing. What I'm truly hoping for is a paradigm shift. We will see."
At the end of a meditation cycle, it's always fascinating to go back and review my state of mind at the beginning. I was right. Indeed, I have been guided toward a paradigm shift from sadness to joy. It's been a convoluted journey, with me learning just how sad I've been and how much of a hold that has had on my life, but also, it has been a productive journey, realizing that I have been preparing for this paradigm shift for quite some time.
At the beginning of this cycle, when I felt so much pain for not knowing my worth, I had connected my worth to money, social status, academic achievement, and other factors that are sorely limited to human ability. I did manage, however, to see my worth in connection to my true Self, Ausar and I began to understand that Ausar is not limited.
I wanted to understand my Divine worth in practical terms not theoretical. What I discovered was a need to be able to transform images that disturbed my peace into images of joy. This, I discovered, can only happen through a change in perspective. I am learning that sense perspective determines how we view and interpret reality, developing the skills necessary to manage my perspective is becoming a powerful tool in how I am able to manage my emotions, and, therefore, my worth.
Now, this may sound strange, but this is what our ancestors knew and what physicists today are studying: we see what we believe we can see. Here is an example of what I mean. For about two years now, I've been seeking a way to have joy without fearing that I could lose it or have it stolen from me. This meditation cycle has taught me how profoundly sad I have been. I think that the only reason I could not see this in the manner that I see it now is because I believe that I can regenerate any joy that I might lose and that I can program this technique into my spirit so that I can call upon it at will.
Sadness was simply the unrecognized paradigm by which I lived my life. I could only see my sadness because now I can see my joy. I have a choice that is very clear to me. I am free now to choose a new paradigm.
Well, that's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep
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