Tree of Life Meditation System -- Assessment -- Amen

Hetep Everyone,

I spoke to a friend of mine today. He told me that he'd had a great day. When I said that I had had one too, he said , "Of course, you're a child of God." This sort of statement is accepted by so many religious and spiritual people that it has become almost irrefutable, but the Metu Neterteaches that there is a difference between being informed and knowing something.

Being informed is being told something, but knowing something, the Metu Neter says, is having experience of the information.

As I begin to wind up this meditation cycle with the new moon approaching, I've come to realize that I don't know who I am as a Divine Being. I have a great deal of information about being a Divine Being, but little knowledge of it. It is very easy for something to strike me the wrong way and I feel guilty and unworthy without understanding why. How can I receive the money from the Universe that I asked for if I feel unworthy of having it? This means that if I get it, I won't keep it long.

I had thought about focusing on developing my Men Ab meditation skills for the next meditation cycle, but I like to get at the heart of things, the most basic levels. I think that getting rid of the emotional buttons inside of me that are so easily and sporadically triggered is more important. I'm going to play with these themes before I make my decision, but in the meantime, from the Metu Neter, vol. 1 page 284, here are some positive qualities of Heru whose energies rule over Men Ab meditation:

• Magnanimous - noble; not petty, mean or selfish
• Desirous of power and leadership
• Full of vitality (hence, "Strong Willed")
• Zealous -- enthusiastic
• Noble
• Lofty -- very high, exalted or elevated in character
• Proud
• Ardent -- enthusiastic
• Authoritative
• Humane, etc.

How can a person who feels unworthy exhibit these qualities or maintain the fire energy to consistently perform Men Ab meditations? I have been searching and searching for the thing that blocks me from performing at the level I feel I should be using, but I have not discovered the source. One thing that I am sure of is that the walls are cracking and crumbling, but I want them down. I'm patient enough, however, to go through the process and enjoy the journey so I'll keep searching until I find it.

That's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep