Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 10 -- Auset

Hetep Everyone,

Thoughts pop into my mind all day. Most times -- no, I can't truthfully say that anymore -- quite often, these thoughts are awful, very negative scenarios. They come in the forms of daydreams, absorptions, moments of absent-mindedness, or emotional states. All of these forms are types of trances as described by Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Tree of Life Meditation System, page 200.

These forms of thought belong to the territory of Auset. It is Heru's job to interrupt these types of thoughts as they do not serve my efforts to subjugate my ego identity (Auset) to my Divine Being (Ausar). Growing stronger at interrupting these thoughts means that I am strengthening my skills at Men Ab meditation. This is a wakeful meditation, specifically designed to teach us how to vigilantly interrupt or block thoughts that do not serve our Divinity.

In addition to those runaway thoughts being negative and dis-serving, they are almost always false. They feed and energize dis-serving illusions that are difficult to discern. Almost always, this leads to dis-serving behavior and decisions based upon false information.

Being unable to distinguish between illusion and truth has gotten so bad for me that I have been unable to rely on my intuition. It's been like a vicious circle, chasing my own tail, trying to determine truth from illusion. In trying to develop the skills of Men Ab, I was working from the premise that the cultivation was a complex process, but now I feel that if I just learn to block those awful thoughts, I'll be able to advance from there as I grow in my understanding.

What does this have to do with my meditation objective? Once again, here is my objective: I want to experience my purpose in God's Divine plan based upon truthful premises, determined by relationships of how my functions (thoughts, feelings, and actions) fit the form I'm trying to create (my purpose).

Here is possibly the greatest insight I have received from this meditation cycle.

Choice is the main focus of conscious, deliberate meditation whether it is Men Ab or trance. If you have followed my meditation posts for a while, then you already know that I do not respond well to being or feeling forced to do things. I adopted this attitude to help me heal from childhood trauma. I have worked hard to learn how to change my perception to desire doing what needs to be done. That way, no force is necessary.

In fact, when those negative thoughts lean toward me feeling that I am forced to do something, I determine the truth of the thought by remembering that Maat's feather represents the lightness of the application of Divine Law. There is no coercion. We must choose. If we are not paying attention, we won't even know that we are being beckoned to follow the laws. This concept helps me to easily dismiss some of my negative thoughts.

Choosing to fit my functions (thoughts, feelings and actions) to the form of creating my Divine purpose is a way of providing structured guidelines for Men Ab meditations -- blocking negative, dis-serving thoughts that hinder my efforts.

The other side of choice, in terms of Heru, is that not only does Heru energy block those awful, behavior-stimulating thoughts, the energy can be used to replace those thoughts with visions and beliefs that support the behavior to create the form of my Divine purpose. It's sort of like a block and counter-punch at the same time.

The Heru energy is designed to fight the energy of Set. Set energy is the energy that we use to justify doing what we know is wrong -- like the saying, "The devil made me do it." Heru wins if we transcend Set's energy and make choices that advance our Divinity on earth. Set wins if we just spend a lot of time debating the issues of transcendence, not to mention, choosing what develops our ego selves.

To quote, Ra Un Nefer Amen from his book, Tree of Life Meditation System, page 177:

Heru is the set of energized ideas aimed at manifesting behavior on the basis of the identity of the waking consciousness with Ausar...Set is the set of energized ideas aimed at manifesting behavior on the basis of the identity of the waking consciousness with the person.

The key here for me is "energized ideas." These energized ideas work for or against our Divinity. The ideas become energized by the energies of spheres 7 (Het-Heru) and 8 (Sebek). The medium through which these energies travel is Auset energy -- trance.

We are now back where we started. Auset energy -- trance energy -- in the forms of daydreams, absorptions, moments of absent-mindedness, or emotional states represent the means of energizing the ideas that support either Divinity (Ausar) or ego (AuSet). I must add to the list of forms of trance, mediumistic trance -- formal sit-down sessions of meditation.

It boils down to this. Either we energize those dis-serving ideas unconsciously or deliberately (Set) or we consciously choose (Heru) to direct the content of our daydreams, absorptions, moments of absent-mindedness, emotional states, and, especially, mediumistic trance sessions. Mediumistic trance greatly assists our desire to use the Heru energy to consciously direct the content of our waking trance states toward our Divinity.

Here is the Law of Auset, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

Auset: I am prepared to sacrifice everything in order to become the vessel of God on earth. In return, I will receive everything.

How do I break the Law of Auset?

I have been guilty of ignoring and trivializing my cultivation of all forms of trance states.

Well, that's it for now. I wish you great fortune. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 10 -- Auset

Hetep Everyone,

I think I may have made a big, but correctable mistake. When I began this meditation cycle, I wanted not just to understand my worth, but to experience it as a Divine Being. I realized that I was focusing a great deal on understanding why I felt unworthy. Since I was manifesting reasons for feeling unworthy instead of solutions for feeling worthy, I realized that I could focus more on being a Divine Being, which surely should lead to solutions that would allow me to feel worthy.

I believe that this plan is working. I have manifested a tremendous insight. When speaking to a community elder about wanting to feel more worthy, she said my problem was a "Pam-being-kind-to-Pam problem." She meant that I can be very kind to others, but I have a huge problem being kind to myself.

One Sista said about me that I don't feel that I deserve the kindness and that she understood it because she had the same problem -- that this is a part of the legacy left to us by Willie Lynch. She told me that feeling unworthy is a bigger problem in the black community than I could imagine and that I was not alone.

My mistake was that although I heard what these women said, I did not internalize it. I brushed aside the importance of being kind to myself.

Before I get into this I must say that one aspect of Auset is that Auset energy represents the personality, the ego -- the side of me that wants to feel worthy. I want to give you the law of Auset and then discuss how I am breaking this law.

Here is the Law of Auset, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

Auset: I am prepared to sacrifice everything in order to become God's vessel on earth. In return, I will receive everything.

How do I break the Law of Auset by not experiencing my worth as a Divine Being?

Auset represents the 9th Sphere on the Tree of Life. The complement to Auset is Ausar, the 1st Sphere. Since Auset represents the ego, then Ausar represents the Divine Being. These two faculties are like pedals on a bicycle. Both are needed to move the vehicle. Having only one will not work.

In my effort to focus only on my Self as a Divine Being (an aspect of Ausar), I may have been trying to ride a bicycle with only one pedal.

I'm going to listen to my elder and my Sista and learn to be kind to myself while still being submissive to my Self as a Divine Being. I'll begin by listening to India.Arie's I'm Having a Private Party. Ashe!

That is it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 12 -- Auset

Hetep Everyone,

We have reached a turning point in the Tree Of Life Meditation cycle. Last night, I was supposed to tally up my Spiritual Quotient. An SQ is the score that tells you how much in alignment you are with the Divine energies of the Tree of Life. My scores are always so low that I've pretty much stopped counting them. Usually, I get something like 16 points. This is a vast improvement considering how long my score remained zero.

A score that shows enough improvement to talk about is around 109. This means that you have months of consistency at taking great care to cultivate your health, life force, and images and thoughts to support your journey toward becoming a Divine Being on earth. When you are able to pass the test of following all of the Laws of Maat simultaneously, then you are ready to proceed to the highest levels of spirituality, Godhood or Goddesshood on earth. Ra Un Nefer Amen, in his Tree of Life Meditation System , recommends only attempting to reach the level of Maat, suggesting that this is enough work to keep you busy for the rest of your life's incarnation. In essence, don't be in a hurry. It's the journey that counts -- persistence, not perfection.

So much for the Spiritual Quotient. The real business is reprogramming my Self. As I said in an earlier post, Auset, 9th Sphere on the Tree of Life, is the beginning of reprogramming. This part of the cycle consists of two meditations:

• First, reflection upon how I break the Law of Auset and meditating on genuine remorse for breaking the Law. This is important. Remorse is a deep sense of guilt. Without this guilt, called the Sorrows of Auset, there is no genuine desire to change.
• Second, establishing Ausar as the identification of my true indwelling Self. Ausar is the highest on the Tree of Life, second only to Amen. Ausar is the unifier of all reality. This is the energy, the Deity, the God that I seek to run my life instead of my limited ego self. It is at this point where I visualize my Self following the Law of Auset by consistently committing to nightly meditation. Funnily enough, I've never sought to program into my spirit actually committing to nightly meditation. I've always left it to my waking ego conscience, which explains why I've been so inconsistent. Duh!

Once we work our way back down to Amen, there will be another assessment period to see how the programming took. Usually, by that time, something in my life will have changed. It's always a surprise. I've learned that the Universe hardly ever works the way I think it will.

Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 10 -- Auset

Hetep Everyone,

I did not meditate last night. I wanted to confess this so that you could understand what I meant when I said in earlier posts that sometimes my performance during the meditation cycle is lousy. This assessment is a bit strong because I've done much, much worse. But my point is that this is about persistence, not perfection. Not meditating, however, doesn't mean that I didn't get any insights from my nightly ritual of meditation and sleep; it means that my insights did not come from a formal sit-down trance meditation.

Trance meditation is the territory of Auset. Trance meditation consists of changes in consciousness that we go through every day as well as formally sitting down and putting yourself in a calm state that causes you to feel as if you could float away if you wanted.

Everyday trances, according to Ra Un Nefer Amen's Tree of Life Meditation System, includes "daydreams, absorption, moments of absent mindedness, and emotional states." He goes on to point out that during these states of consciousness, as well as formal trance meditation, our minds are receptive to programming our reality. This means that whatever images, beliefs, and ideas that surround us (everything in our environment that we can identify, including our own thoughts, feelings, and actions) become even more entrenched and reinforced into what we believe to be our reality.

The entire point of the Tree of Life Meditation System is to program our thoughts, feelings, and actions with the experiential knowledge that we have the power to change our reality.

Auset, the 9th Sphere on the Tree of Life is the beginning of this programming. Sebek, the 8th Sphere (thoughts, ideas, beliefs), is the second step or tool of programming. Het-Heru, the 7th Sphere(images, joy), is the third and final step or tool.

As stated above, trance relaxes the mind so much that programming what we determine to be reality occurs. It may be difficult to accept "daydreams, absorption, moments of absent mindedness, and emotional states" as trance states in which programming our reality occurs, but think about how often the same images and thoughts repeatedly run through your mind, reinforcing emotions or intentions. Usually, this repetition builds until a result is produced. Perhaps the most common example would be how we provoke arguments. Since we quite often enter into "daydreams, absorption, moments of absent mindedness, and emotional states" without conscious effort, we usually don't see the roles we play in provoking arguments. It's "always" someone else's fault.

Formal trance, through the energies of Auset, means that we consciously program our intentions into our subconscious mind. This means also that we consciously use our power to change our reality to what we choose it to be, replacing hopelessness and despair with optimism and expectation.

If you have read some of my earlier posts, then you will know that I have suffered trauma in my childhood and imposed trauma upon myself during my adulthood; therefore, most of my meditation objectives have dealt with healing my psychological wounds and, as a byproduct, healing the physical wounds (illnesses) caused by my psychological wounds. These wounds took decades to manifest with a lot of situations in which I was forced or I forced myself to do things that went against my Being.

This is one of the main reasons why I prefer using the trance meditation of Auset to heal, but this meditation cycle has revealed to me that I MUST balance my trance meditation with Men Ab meditation. Since I'm trying to avoid copyright issues, I selected this picture of the Black Madonna and Child which is meant to represent its original source, Auset and Heru. Heru, the son of Auset, governs Men Ab meditation -- a waking meditation. This means that Heru governs our images and thoughts (Spheres 7 and 8 on the Tree of Life) while we are awake, watching them like a hawk. The nightly meditation (Auset's devotion to Ausar) conceives and nurtures the infant, Heru who becomes the hawk-headed man -- the waking meditation of the day. Consciously programming our reality begins with the mother, Auset.

This puts an entirely different spin on the Madonna and child concept.

Here is the Law of Auset personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his Maat: The 11 Laws of God:

Auset: I am prepared to sacrifice everything in order to become God's vessel on earth. In return, I will receive everything.

Insights: In order to survive the trauma of my life, I consciously chose to escape reality through images and thoughts, books, movies, television, intellectualism, etc. This is the area of my life where I discovered my freedom, but it was not a physical freedom. It was not even a psychological freedom, but it was a type of freedom that helped me to survive.

My efforts to tame and cultivate this mental freedom that I built for myself have been thwarted by a resistance that may by on the level of a death grip. Nevertheless, I must persist if I am to change my physical reality.

Well, this is it for now.
Until next time,

Hetep