Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 9 -- Sebek

Hetep Everyone,

Once again, here is my meditation objective for this meditation cycle: I want to see my transformation into a Divine Being as I learn to pause and consciously observe my decision processes before I act.

When I first began participating in the Tree of Life Meditation System consistently, I held strong beliefs about what I could not do. One such belief was that I could not believe in spiritual power. I've spent a great deal of time analyzing and trying to correct this belief. Now, I know that spiritual power is about love, especially, sharing it without judgment. Accessing spiritual power brings about perfect alignment through the energies of Ausar. Of course, there are qualifications that have to be met before I can access the power, like living all of the 11 laws of Maat simultaneously, meaning I have to actually know what those laws are and be in the practice of trying to use them.

Well, my understanding is growing and so is my ability to practice all of the laws (I'm very much an infant at this); however, still, many of my beliefs are based upon judgments that I make about myself, other people, and situations. This makes it very difficult to observe my thoughts, feelings, and actions without judgment, but I am enjoying the process. Sticking to this course is teaching me to let go.

Judgment makes things seem more real, but I'm growing into the belief that nothing is real until I give it meaning. This is what makes everything formless, unconditional (Amen). It is so easy to forget this, but that is the point of pausing, to give myself time to stop and process the concept of formlessness and then choose. Always, I want my choices to be based upon transforming so that the Divine Being with in me resurrects.

Here is the Law of Sebek, personalized form the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

Sebek: It is not what I think nor what I affirm. It is who is thinking and affirming. Am I a human or a Divine Being?

How do I break the Law of Sebek by not pausing and observing?

I forget that I control the meaning I give to life and that I can change life by changing its meaning. I choose.

That is all for now. I wish you great fortune. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 5 -- Maat

Hetep Everyone,

Once again, here, is my meditation objective for this meditation cycle: I want to see my transformation into a Divine Being as I learn to pause and consciously observe my decision processes before I act.

Many of my posts contain writings about my desire to transform into a Divine Being. Of course, what I mean by that is that I want to resurrect the dormant Ausar energies that are all ready inside of me. The question in the back of my mind has always been what will this new perception I seek look like?

I've been using as my model the perception of reality that already exists; however, I know that the perception I want is one that I cannot see, the one that is more wonderful than I can imagine in my current limited state of existence. My meditation has brought me a way to access a new vision. Something really obvious.

I have memorized the 11 Laws of Maat and can recite them. Also, I have memorized an affirmation to accompany the laws. The problem is that I don't speak the language of the laws. Each law represents a field of energy and descriptive aspects that can be applied to personalities and situations. Some of these traits or shaping factors can be found in the Metu Neter vol. 1, pages 266-299 and 371-378.

If I add these aspects to my repertoire for the laws, then I should have enough verbiage to begin to speak the language of the laws and form coinciding images. The point of this is to use the energies of Sebek (language) and Het-Heru (images) to help reprogram my perception.

This may sound extreme, but continuing to reinforce the images and thoughts that have proved so limiting to me seems to me to be extreme. It's worth a shot.

Here is the Law of Maat, personalized form the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

Maat: God needs me in order to come into the world. Fulfilling God's need is the highest act of love and only through my love for God can I fulfill my love for others. I become the love of God in the world for the protection of the world.

How do I break the Law of Maat by not pausing and observing?

I reinforce the same language and images that I am familiar with, perpetuating the same reality. This limits how I observe my thoughts, feelings and actions and it limits the new reality I can create.

That is all for now. I wish you great fortune. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 3 -- Tehuti

Hetep Everyone,

Once again, here, is my meditation objective for this meditation cycle: I want to see my transformation into a Divine Being as I learn to pause and consciously observe my decision processes before I act.

I've spoken about the importance of pausing and observing my actions without judgment. Now, I want to speak about conscious observation. Not long ago, I started recognizing that I could focus my attention on my pineal gland as I concentrated on what I was doing. This is a weird feeling. It's like watching myself doing things. Recently, I noticed that I could do this with experiencing my feelings and thoughts. Now, that's really weird, watching myself think and feel.

Most times, I forget to do this, but the benefits of learning to watch myself are that I concentrate better, but, more importantly, I feel closer to my Amen and Ausar energies. This benefits me by helping me to remember that everything, including my physical being, is, in essence, formless and therefore subject to change. In other words, I should not take everything so seriously. I should enjoy the process. Joy will help me to sustain and enhance my Ra force, giving me the energy to resurrect my Ausar energy, which aligns my life in perfect balance. In other words, learning to observe my thoughts, feelings and actions is essential to bringing my life into perfect balance.

Here is a quote from Eckhart Tolle's book, A New Earth that I find helps to explain to me a lot of the obstacles I have in remembering to observe myself, especially without judgment.

"When every thought absorbs your attention completely, when you are so identified with the voice in your head and the emotions that accompany it that you lose yourself in every thought and every emotion, then you are totally identified with form and therefore in the grip of ego."

Having access to this quote helps me to do a better job of catching myself being asleep, so to speak, in my life. I can remind myself to return to consciously observing myself without judgment. This, by the way, as I understand it, is a Tehuti function.

Here is the Law of Tehuti, personalized form the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

Tehuti: When all of my thoughts, feelings, and actions reflect the word of God, then the power of God's spirit and a peace that nothing can challenge will flow through my being.

How do I break the Law of Tehuti by not pausing and observing?

I have not effectively programmed into my spirit a need and desire to observe my own life without judgment.

That is all for now. I wish you great fortune. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 2 -- Ausar

Hetep Everyone,

Here, is my meditation objective for this meditation cycle: I want to see my transformation into a Divine Being as I learn to pause and consciously observe my decision processes before I act.

In order to choose transformation over what I already know, it makes sense to me that I must have better images, thoughts, and affirmations to transform into. Where do these better concepts come from? Ausar, the energy of which can only come from the pauses and nonjudgmental observations. I, the ego (Auset), do not have to force this knowledge. It will rise up out of me. This is the resurrection of Ausar.

However, pausing and observing without judgment will take lots and lots of practice, because I have to keep choosing to do it. The image that came to me was that of the movie Malcolm X, when (if I remember the scene correctly) Elijah Muhammad explains to Malcolm that people will choose to drink dirty water if they don't know that there is a better choice. Well, you know how there is that saying that when you know better, you do better? In order to embrace that statement, I have to define "know" according to the Metu Neter -- knowledge comes from experience, not information.

For me, in terms of choosing transformation as opposed to habitually choosing that which is familiar to me, the most important part is the nonjudgmental observation. Over and over again, I have to observe my choices. This is what I have to get good at so that eventually, like a baby newly walking, who, from experience, learns that walking is better than crawling, I will choose from knowledge, transformation and evolution.

Here is the Law of Ausar, personalized form the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

Ausar: My nature is an unconquerable peace; therefore, nothing and no one in the world can be against me. All experiences come to me to promote my reclamation of peace so that I may acquire wisdom and power.

How do I break the Law of Ausar by not pausing and observing?

I do not embrace my connection to the unknown and unfamiliar, thus, I limit my transformation -- my evolution.

That is all for now. I wish you great fortune. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 1 -- Amen

Hetep Everyone,

Here, is my meditation objective for this meditation cycle: I want to see my transformation into a Divine Being as I learn to pause and consciously observe my decision processes before I act.

What does this mean? One of the things that I learned in the last meditation cycle was how very important it is for me to work on my transformation as a Divine Being. By this I mean that I already am a Divine Being; however, that part of me is still submerged by my ego (Auset). I must transform my ego so that it becomes receptive to my divinity, allowing it (Ausar) to resurrect itself. That is what this entire journey is about for me, living as Ausar. From my understanding, pausing (Men Ab -- Heru) and observing with the eye of Tehuti is the key to living as Ausar 24 hours a day.

I want to become conscious of the repetition of the processes I use to make decisions. I have been looking for a way to transform without feeling that I am forced to do so. One of the affirmations in Ra Un Nefer Amen's Tree of Life Meditation System states, "God does not compel me to do what is right..." If there is any force applied at all it is done, not with a whip, but Maat's feather. What if the mere at of observing myself without judgment is a major key to assisting my transformation. I think the theory is worth a meditation cycle, especially since it will help me to stop judging myself.

Here is how I came to this idea: DNA contains a replicating function. In an earlier post, I compared this replication to our thought processes -- how we repeat the same thoughts over and over again while replaying the accompanying images. I was really good at using this replication to produce actions that led to consequences that I really did not want. I realized that if I paused the thought, I could pause the replication and intensification of the emotions. As a result, I'm much better at transforming my emotions.

I'm still growing into the application of this understanding, however, which is the reason for this cycle's objective of pausing and observing. During the time I am able to pause, it is my intention to apply a formula that has come to me: From form to formlessness = transformation/reformation. In observing the formlessness of form, I wish to perceive better images, thoughts, and affirmations, which should stimulate better transformations (realities), leading to my Divinity.

Not pausing means that I automatically repeat similar thoughts, feelings and actions -- the same reality that I already know; thus, no transformation.

Here is the Law of Amen, personalized form the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

Amen: I am made in the likeness of a peace that nothing can disturb. I reclaim my peace that I may attain to the reason I have come into existence -- the enjoyment of life.

How do I break the Law of Amen by not pausing and observing?

I deny the formlessness of Amen and thus the potential to create what is yet to be born.

That is all for now. I wish you great fortune. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Assessment

Hetep Everyone,

Tonight is the night before the new moon. Perhaps the greatest thing that I learned from this past meditation cycle is that I am Ausar. Now, I've read this in the Metu Neter countless times, but is was just a mental exercise, not and experience.

My experience had always been to understand that someone else or something else controlled the authority over me. Now I know that I am the authority that I have been trying to negotiate with for permission to live my life. This is the understanding into which I am growing.

This budding growth is awesome!

I have not yet decided upon the wording of my new meditation objective, but I know that it is going to have something to do with pausing before I act -- Men Ab meditation.

Well, that's it for now. I wish you great fortune. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 15 -- Heru

Hetep Everyone,

In a reading that I did using the Oracle cards of Tehuti, concerning my role in God's Divine plan for me, I received positive Maat and negative Ausar. It took me a while to grow into the understanding of how I could use this information. First, I was flattered that I was actually learning the Law, but I was deeply ashamed of what the combined metutu meant. I knew the Law, but not how to apply it.

I was reminded of a quote from Ra Un Nefer Amen's book, Tree of Life Meditation System, pages 231-232:

"It is of utmost importance to understand that spiritual growth does not take place from studying of scriptures, spiritual literature, doing rituals, meditating, deity or ancestor possession, etc. They are merely means of preparing you to live truth at the crossroads."

The Maat/Ausar reading warned me against having too much knowledge without any understanding of the All and that placed me in the midst of evil. I've made some mistakes. The mistakes have been worse, because of my greater potential for misunderstanding. I knew that I needed to cultivate a greater understanding of Ausar, but I didn't know how. What I did know to do was to apply a greater effort in sharing and loving unconditionally with a compassionate understanding that I needed a whole picture before making decisions and judgments.

Knowing my need to develop my aspects of Maat and Ausar meant that I would be able to successfully practice these aspects only when I could stop and think about what I was doing. Given my weak skills in Men Ab (Heru, waking trance meditation), I felt inadequate.

One of the things that I have been doing is developing techniques to stimulate my Ra (life force energy). This seems to be working. I want to project light energy all of the time. I used to fear that I would drain my own life force by doing this, but I actively generate this energy every day, filling my being with it so that I have an abundance for my Self and enough to project to others. In fact, the act of projecting the energy helps to restore the energy I project. In essence, sharing light energy amplifies the energy so that it grows exponentially.

As an example of what I'm talking about, for each person you share the light energy with, you receive the light energy back like 10-fold. The energy amplifies the energies of all spheres on the Tree of Life. I am beginning to believe that learning to cultivate this energy and projecting it to others in its purest form is one of the main reasons that we are here on this physical plane.

The upshot of actively cultivating my Ra is that I'm feeling more comfortable with my efforts. As I share this energy, I imagine my Ausar (Divine Being) sharing energy with the Ausar energy of others. I like this imagery because it is pure. When I think of someone else's Ausar, I imagine my pineal gland connecting with theirs. In that sense, there is no judgment of the person because I only see the pineal gland and it is pure melanin. This helps me to be much more compassionate, especially if I give the energy to someone with whom I have a problem. If Ausar meets Ausar, there is no doubt that the problem will be resolved.

As for Heru, I am more hopeful for improving my Men Ab skills than ever before.

Well, that's it for now. I wish you great fortune. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 13 -- Sebek

Hetep Everyone,

Last night's meditation was designed to reprogram my beliefs. I was, through mediumistic trance, to energize my beliefs (affirmations) which support my identification with Ausar as my Self, my True Self.

What does this mean?

Ausar is the embodiment of Amen, a peace that nothing can challenge where I expect neither gain nor loss, neither pain nor pleasure. It is a state where everything is formless, meaning that everything is possible. Ausar is the perfect balance or alignment of all possibilities manifesting in my life -- the running of my external life with the same level of "clockwork" precision as is running in my physical body. This allows my to have all of the prosperity and sustenance that I need. This is my fulfillment.

I, as a Divine Being, am Ausar, making all of this happen because I am connected with the All, Amen. My head knows this, but my heart is still unsure.

My Sebek meditation was designed to replace my doubtful beliefs with ones that are certain so that I can fulfill my Divine Purpose.

Well, that's it for now. I wish you great fortune. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 12 -- Auset

Hetep Everyone,

This is the programming phase of the meditation cycle. For the next 10 days, I will be reprogramming my spirit to accept my meditation objective.

Once again, here is my objective: I want to experience my purpose in God's Divine plan based upon truthful premises, determined by relationships of how my functions (thoughts, feelings, and actions) fit the form I'm trying to create (my purpose).

I will program this objective into my spirit by aligning my spirit with the energies of the deities of the Tree of Life. The programming begins with Auset (Sphere 9), at the base of the Tree of Life. This energy allows me to express remorse for my thoughts, feelings, and actions that are preventing me from living as a Divine Being. Also, this energy assists me in opening my spirit so that it becomes receptive to resurrecting the Ausar energy, which will allow me to manifest my meditation objective.

Well, that's all for now. I wish you great fortune. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 10 -- Auset

Hetep Everyone,

Thoughts pop into my mind all day. Most times -- no, I can't truthfully say that anymore -- quite often, these thoughts are awful, very negative scenarios. They come in the forms of daydreams, absorptions, moments of absent-mindedness, or emotional states. All of these forms are types of trances as described by Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Tree of Life Meditation System, page 200.

These forms of thought belong to the territory of Auset. It is Heru's job to interrupt these types of thoughts as they do not serve my efforts to subjugate my ego identity (Auset) to my Divine Being (Ausar). Growing stronger at interrupting these thoughts means that I am strengthening my skills at Men Ab meditation. This is a wakeful meditation, specifically designed to teach us how to vigilantly interrupt or block thoughts that do not serve our Divinity.

In addition to those runaway thoughts being negative and dis-serving, they are almost always false. They feed and energize dis-serving illusions that are difficult to discern. Almost always, this leads to dis-serving behavior and decisions based upon false information.

Being unable to distinguish between illusion and truth has gotten so bad for me that I have been unable to rely on my intuition. It's been like a vicious circle, chasing my own tail, trying to determine truth from illusion. In trying to develop the skills of Men Ab, I was working from the premise that the cultivation was a complex process, but now I feel that if I just learn to block those awful thoughts, I'll be able to advance from there as I grow in my understanding.

What does this have to do with my meditation objective? Once again, here is my objective: I want to experience my purpose in God's Divine plan based upon truthful premises, determined by relationships of how my functions (thoughts, feelings, and actions) fit the form I'm trying to create (my purpose).

Here is possibly the greatest insight I have received from this meditation cycle.

Choice is the main focus of conscious, deliberate meditation whether it is Men Ab or trance. If you have followed my meditation posts for a while, then you already know that I do not respond well to being or feeling forced to do things. I adopted this attitude to help me heal from childhood trauma. I have worked hard to learn how to change my perception to desire doing what needs to be done. That way, no force is necessary.

In fact, when those negative thoughts lean toward me feeling that I am forced to do something, I determine the truth of the thought by remembering that Maat's feather represents the lightness of the application of Divine Law. There is no coercion. We must choose. If we are not paying attention, we won't even know that we are being beckoned to follow the laws. This concept helps me to easily dismiss some of my negative thoughts.

Choosing to fit my functions (thoughts, feelings and actions) to the form of creating my Divine purpose is a way of providing structured guidelines for Men Ab meditations -- blocking negative, dis-serving thoughts that hinder my efforts.

The other side of choice, in terms of Heru, is that not only does Heru energy block those awful, behavior-stimulating thoughts, the energy can be used to replace those thoughts with visions and beliefs that support the behavior to create the form of my Divine purpose. It's sort of like a block and counter-punch at the same time.

The Heru energy is designed to fight the energy of Set. Set energy is the energy that we use to justify doing what we know is wrong -- like the saying, "The devil made me do it." Heru wins if we transcend Set's energy and make choices that advance our Divinity on earth. Set wins if we just spend a lot of time debating the issues of transcendence, not to mention, choosing what develops our ego selves.

To quote, Ra Un Nefer Amen from his book, Tree of Life Meditation System, page 177:

Heru is the set of energized ideas aimed at manifesting behavior on the basis of the identity of the waking consciousness with Ausar...Set is the set of energized ideas aimed at manifesting behavior on the basis of the identity of the waking consciousness with the person.

The key here for me is "energized ideas." These energized ideas work for or against our Divinity. The ideas become energized by the energies of spheres 7 (Het-Heru) and 8 (Sebek). The medium through which these energies travel is Auset energy -- trance.

We are now back where we started. Auset energy -- trance energy -- in the forms of daydreams, absorptions, moments of absent-mindedness, or emotional states represent the means of energizing the ideas that support either Divinity (Ausar) or ego (AuSet). I must add to the list of forms of trance, mediumistic trance -- formal sit-down sessions of meditation.

It boils down to this. Either we energize those dis-serving ideas unconsciously or deliberately (Set) or we consciously choose (Heru) to direct the content of our daydreams, absorptions, moments of absent-mindedness, emotional states, and, especially, mediumistic trance sessions. Mediumistic trance greatly assists our desire to use the Heru energy to consciously direct the content of our waking trance states toward our Divinity.

Here is the Law of Auset, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

Auset: I am prepared to sacrifice everything in order to become the vessel of God on earth. In return, I will receive everything.

How do I break the Law of Auset?

I have been guilty of ignoring and trivializing my cultivation of all forms of trance states.

Well, that's it for now. I wish you great fortune. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 5 -- Maat

Hetep Everyone,

Imagine that you have never heard of the concept of siblings. You meet someone and he introduces you to his mother. You travel to another part of the world and you meet someone different who introduces you to her mother, but the mother is the same mother you've already met. You don't know what a sibling is so you think that someone could be lying.

How can you explain this? Two different people from two different parts of the world both claim that this one woman is their mother. How can they both be telling the truth? The only way to explain this phenomenon is to understand that both people come from the same source (the mother) and that the mother can have multiple children.

Everything that happens to us is based upon this type of inter-relationship, but without knowing the source, we can't see the connections. Let me remind you of my meditation cycle objective:

I want to experience my purpose in God's Divine plan for me based upon truthful premises determined by relationships of how my functions (thoughts, feelings, and actions) fit the form I'm trying to create (my purpose).

When the above insight came to me, I had to ask the following question:

What is the inter-relationship between my feeling powerful and worthy verses my taking actions that fit my functions to form fulfilling my Divine purpose?

The answer had nothing to do with emotions, but everything to do with letting go. I wrote out this formula:

• Detach from what I think is reality.
• Accept what's happening.
• Immerse myself in my situation.
• Seek out images of joy for going with the flow.
• Look for opportunities of transformation. Every situation is an opportunity for creation. Be what you are -- Divine.

I realized that I had no idea what I had expected feeling worthy and powerful enough to fulfill my Divine purpose would be like. All I know is that I'm feeling it. The answer lies in letting go.

I'm not talking about a leap of faith. Amen is peace -- no things and everything, where everything is formless and, therefore, can be changed. Ausar is unity, making sure that all changes are balanced and in alignment. Tehuti shows you what to change and how. Seker gives you the power through Love -- giving without expectation of receiving.

All of this means that I can change anything I want as long as I follow Maat: the 11 Laws of God. This isn't about seeking permission from deities outside of myself. All of these deities are different aspects of energy vibrations that are a part of me waiting for me to tap into them. I must give permission to myself. I am the judge of my own worthiness and power, not some outside source.

Here is the Law of Maat, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

Maat: God needs me in order to come into the world. Fulfilling God's need is the highest act of love and only through my love for God can I fulfill my love for others. I become the love of God in the world for the protection of the world.


How do I break the Law of Maat?

I have been unable to experience my purpose in God's Divine plan for me because I have been unable to see how my functions fit the form of that plan.

Well, that's it for now. I wish you great fortune. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 2 -- Ausar

Hetep Everyone,

Last night, I realized that I could no longer deny that resenting white supremacy and Western culture is a violation of Ausar (Unity). This doesn't alleviate my desire for justice, reparations, or restitution. It just means that I don't have to display, every minute of my life, anger, frustration, the jealousy of privilege, debilitating anxiety, etc. that the resentment fertilizes.

The resentment is hurtful and draining of the energy that could go into creating the world and life that is filled with manifesting my Divine purpose. I've carried this resentment around so long that it has become normal for me so it will be interesting learning to live without it.

Here is the Law of Ausar, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book Maat: the 11 Laws of God, followed by the insight from my meditation.

Ausar: My nature is an unconquerable peace; therefore, nothing and no one in the world can be against me. All experiences come to me to promote my reclamation of peace that I may acquire wisdom and power.


Insight: I resent Western Society and white supremacy in any form. This resentment is a huge disturbance to my peace and my ability to acquire unity, wisdom, and power. This resentment is very heavy to carry around. It impedes Ra (my life force), and, therefore, my access to my Divine true self.

Well, that's it for now. I wish you great fortune. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 20 -- Ausar

Hetep Everyone,

Here is an excerpt from my posting on Day 2 -- Ausar -- of this meditation cycle:

"What will be the end result? No idea. I hope that I will be much more forgiving of myself and more compassionate. I hope that I will be more willing to try new things and perform more consistently with the things I want to keep doing. What I'm truly hoping for is a paradigm shift. We will see."

At the end of a meditation cycle, it's always fascinating to go back and review my state of mind at the beginning. I was right. Indeed, I have been guided toward a paradigm shift from sadness to joy. It's been a convoluted journey, with me learning just how sad I've been and how much of a hold that has had on my life, but also, it has been a productive journey, realizing that I have been preparing for this paradigm shift for quite some time.

At the beginning of this cycle, when I felt so much pain for not knowing my worth, I had connected my worth to money, social status, academic achievement, and other factors that are sorely limited to human ability. I did manage, however, to see my worth in connection to my true Self, Ausar and I began to understand that Ausar is not limited.

I wanted to understand my Divine worth in practical terms not theoretical. What I discovered was a need to be able to transform images that disturbed my peace into images of joy. This, I discovered, can only happen through a change in perspective. I am learning that sense perspective determines how we view and interpret reality, developing the skills necessary to manage my perspective is becoming a powerful tool in how I am able to manage my emotions, and, therefore, my worth.

Now, this may sound strange, but this is what our ancestors knew and what physicists today are studying: we see what we believe we can see. Here is an example of what I mean. For about two years now, I've been seeking a way to have joy without fearing that I could lose it or have it stolen from me. This meditation cycle has taught me how profoundly sad I have been. I think that the only reason I could not see this in the manner that I see it now is because I believe that I can regenerate any joy that I might lose and that I can program this technique into my spirit so that I can call upon it at will.

Sadness was simply the unrecognized paradigm by which I lived my life. I could only see my sadness because now I can see my joy. I have a choice that is very clear to me. I am free now to choose a new paradigm.

Well, that's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 18 -- Seker

Hetep Everyone,

The journey of this meditation cycle has been quite a ride. I've gone from feeling sorry for myself because I did not know how to evaluate my worth, to looking at my Self from the point of view of a Divine Being, and then back to looking at my worth to help cultivate my ego into one that is healthy, yet submissive to Ausar. This last area has been the most revealing.

I have discovered that I basically have been a very sad person, malnourished of joy. To counteract this, I have been actively seeking images of joy for the things that I do on a daily basis. Sometimes, this is very difficult because I am so used to complaining, that I find I have no idea what joyful images I can use to replace the ones that are sad. I am committed, however, to finding joyful images. I desire greatly to practice the belief that there is always something to be glad about if you look hard enough for it.

Why is this so important?

Life force energy (Ra, Chi, Kundalini) is greatly assisted by joy (Het-Heru energy) and greatly drained by negative emotions. My profound sadness is a reflection of my depleted life force energy. Joyful images inspire joyful thoughts, feelings, and actions; thus, a joyful life -- a life worth living; a life worthy of a Divine Being.

The opposite, of course, is true. Negative images inspire negative (limited) thoughts, feelings, and actions; thus, a negative life -- a devalued life; a life beset by the limitations of only being a human being. This is a life that has no hope of reaching the energy level of the unfathomable spiritual power of Seker.

Well, that's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 16 -- HeruKhuti

Hetep Everyone,

I have given myself an assignment to record each of my daily tasks and to record what I enjoy most about the task. No matter how small it is, I must think of something I genuinely enjoy.

What an eye opener this has been. The assignment is much more difficult for me than I could have imagined. I have discovered that I complain too much and that I am very sad. I didn't know how sad I've been. It's not a nice thing to learn about myself, but, at least now, I know it.

I've decided to look for joyful images so that I can, through meditation, replace the images that have been causing me sadness. What is funny about this is that now I can feel the wait of the sadness. No wonder each task has always felt like such a burden.

In burdening myself down like this, I have not been just with myself, and, therefore, I have not been able to discover my worth. HeruKhuti deals with justice. Here is the Law of HeruKhuti, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book Maat: the 11 Laws of God: I know that God neither punishes, nor rewards, nor protects. I have the comfort of controlling these for myself.

In learning to transform burdening, sad images into joyful ones, I think I'm well on my way to learning how to be just with my Self and discovering my worth.

Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 10 -- Auset

Hetep Everyone,

I think I may have made a big, but correctable mistake. When I began this meditation cycle, I wanted not just to understand my worth, but to experience it as a Divine Being. I realized that I was focusing a great deal on understanding why I felt unworthy. Since I was manifesting reasons for feeling unworthy instead of solutions for feeling worthy, I realized that I could focus more on being a Divine Being, which surely should lead to solutions that would allow me to feel worthy.

I believe that this plan is working. I have manifested a tremendous insight. When speaking to a community elder about wanting to feel more worthy, she said my problem was a "Pam-being-kind-to-Pam problem." She meant that I can be very kind to others, but I have a huge problem being kind to myself.

One Sista said about me that I don't feel that I deserve the kindness and that she understood it because she had the same problem -- that this is a part of the legacy left to us by Willie Lynch. She told me that feeling unworthy is a bigger problem in the black community than I could imagine and that I was not alone.

My mistake was that although I heard what these women said, I did not internalize it. I brushed aside the importance of being kind to myself.

Before I get into this I must say that one aspect of Auset is that Auset energy represents the personality, the ego -- the side of me that wants to feel worthy. I want to give you the law of Auset and then discuss how I am breaking this law.

Here is the Law of Auset, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

Auset: I am prepared to sacrifice everything in order to become God's vessel on earth. In return, I will receive everything.

How do I break the Law of Auset by not experiencing my worth as a Divine Being?

Auset represents the 9th Sphere on the Tree of Life. The complement to Auset is Ausar, the 1st Sphere. Since Auset represents the ego, then Ausar represents the Divine Being. These two faculties are like pedals on a bicycle. Both are needed to move the vehicle. Having only one will not work.

In my effort to focus only on my Self as a Divine Being (an aspect of Ausar), I may have been trying to ride a bicycle with only one pedal.

I'm going to listen to my elder and my Sista and learn to be kind to myself while still being submissive to my Self as a Divine Being. I'll begin by listening to India.Arie's I'm Having a Private Party. Ashe!

That is it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 7 -- Heru

Hetep Everyone,

Peace be Still.
Peace (Amen) be Still (Heru).
Amen be Heru.
Heru be Amen.
Still be Peace.
Be..."I Am"
Still, I am Peace.

Heru is the energy of learning to become still. Through stillness, wisdom, the eye of Tehuti, can reveal itself. With this understanding, I want to discuss an interpretation of the dream that I wrote about in my last posting. Here is the dream:

I became conscious of having a nightmare. Something was dead and trying to attack me. Normally, I would do a "poor me" and ask why or how I had attracted this energy and then I would run from it. This time, I stood my ground. I asked the image what it wanted. I called on the ancestors and other beneficent spirits for help. I called on alchemy. I told the image to transform -- to reveal its truth. The image became a kaleidoscope, transforming into different shapes that looked like all sorts of symbols and sometimes, distorted, frightening faces. I was reminded of images of ghosts that I had seen from the DVD, the Tibetan Book of the Dead. I tried to shine light energy on the scene to get the images to reveal their true nature. Eventually, the black background of the images began to crack and split, revealing green land, blue sky, and sunshine. I became less conscious of my dreaming, following deeper into sleep.

In the dream, I stand my ground. I become still and ask the images to reveal their true nature. I call on everything I can think of to give the images the energy they need in order to reveal their truth. I was calling on transformation. Is this one of the meanings of alchemy?

When I began this meditation cycle to experience my worth as a Divine Being, I knew that I was calling into manifestation experiences that would force me to call upon my worth as a Divine Being. I knew that it would not feel pleasant or comfortable. Of course, this is baring itself out. I wanted this experience so that I could obtain the knowledge of my worth, something only I could give to myself. I want to get rid of feelings of unworthiness in all circumstances.

What have I learned so far?

• Worthiness or unworthiness are concepts to which I give meaning, concepts that I do not even have to acknowledge as valuable. I've been trained to make these judgments and, therefore, can retrain myself away from these concepts.
• I need further understanding of what it means to be a Divine Being. I just know that through this understanding, I will understand my Self as a creator, living a creative purpose in perfect balance.
• I am resurrecting Ausar.

Here is the Law of Heru, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God

Heru: I have the power, but not the right, to ignore God's Law. I choose to follow the Law of God with the Love and Joy that grows from understanding so that the wisdom and power of God's spirit will flow through my being.

How do I break the Law of Heru by not experiencing my worth as a Divine Being?

I have not learned enough about becoming still.

This is all for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 3 -- Tehuti

Hetep Everyone,

My posts are off, meaning that I am one post behind. This is due to my meditations being off. I apologize for this. I've got to work hard to catch up. As I stated many times during the postings of the last meditation cycle, what I find most significant is persistence, not perfection. In my defense, however, I am constantly searching for more ways to be more consistent. I beg your indulgence.

The objective of this meditation cycle is to experience my worth as a Divine Being, focusing on both my worthiness and my Self as a Divine Being.

First, in understanding Tehuti, I had to learn and still have to learn about perception and meaning. Mostly, what I'm learning is that nothing has any meaning until I give it meaning.

Think about a baby reaching to touch a hot heater. To the baby, she is just experiencing the sense called, "touch". Adults will say to the baby, "Hot!, Hot!," giving to the baby the meaning of "hot". However, a Yogi, or someone highly skilled in mind control can apply their finger to a flame, hold it there and experience no pain or burns. My point is that meaning is conditional, based upon perception. This tells me that I have the power to determine the meaning of my own worth and worthiness.

Isn't this a powerful thought? I have the power to choose my perception, thus changing the meaning of anything I want. Let me give an example of what I mean by perception in terms of my worth as a person and not a Divine Being.

I'm in Wal-Mart, right? I'm walking down the aisles looking at things I want, but I don't have the money to buy them. How do I feel? Deprived? Impoverished? Desperate for more money?

Let's change the scene.

In my imagination, I am in a cornfield wearing the crown of Ausar. All around me is lush, green vegetation. I can have all that I want there. My access is unlimited and the abundance is infinite. How do I feel? Blessed? Rich? Sated?

Under both circumstances, I'm in a place of plenty, but my perception of what I have access to is different. Is it possible to be in Wal-Mart with little money and feel blessed, rich, and sated. Similarly, is it possible to be in a lush cornfield with unlimited access and feel deprived, impoverished, and desperate for money no matter how much I have? Yes! I've experienced both perspectives in Wal-Mart and my imagination. The difference is a better understanding of Tehuti.

Tehuti is the all-seeing eye -- omniscience. If I concentrate less on how I feel and more on the meaning of my purpose for being in Wal-Mart then my perspective becomes more focused and my choices become clearer. I am able better to accept my circumstances. Why? Tehuti helps you to detach yourself from the things you don't need and to accept the things you do need all without resentment. This is the result of a clearer understanding of purpose and what must be done to fulfill that purpose.

Currently, I am growing into this understanding. What is unclear to me is my understanding of my Self as a Divine Being. As a Divine Being, should I even concern myself with the concept of worth? Am I worthy merely by existing and acknowledging my worth? Can I do nothing and still be worthy? Is there a difference between being worthy and Divine?

I don't have any answers to these questions or the myriad others I could ask along these lines. I'm still searching, growing in my understanding.

Okay, let me give you the Law of Tehuti, which I have personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat the 11 laws of God.

Tehuti: When all of my thoughts, feelings, and actions reflect the word of God, then the power of God's spirit and a peace that nothing can challenge will flow through my being.

How do I break the Law of Tehuti by not experiencing my worth as a Divine Being?

Insights:

• My thoughts reflect my desire to feel worthy as a Divine being, but not my feelings and actions.
• I have to work very hard to act upon the knowledge that I have access to a peace that nothing can challenge.

I'm going to stop here for now and just say...until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 2 -- Ausar

Hetep Everyone,

As I was sitting here trying to decide what to say, I glanced at the wording of my current objective, "I want to experience my worth as a Divine Being."

I've been focusing on the wrong side of things. I've been focusing on why and how I feel unworthy instead of focusing on experiencing my Self as Divine. I know what feeling unworthy feels like, but what does it feel like to feel Divine? Wow! This is only Day 2. Do you know what this means? By the end of this meditation cycle, most probably, I'm going to know what it feels like based upon experience, not just theory. Whoa! See, it's insights like these that keep me wanting to perform the meditation cycle, new moon after new moon.

What will be the end result? No idea. I hope that I will be much more forgiving of myself and more compassionate. I hope that I will be more willing to try new things and perform more consistently with the things I want to keep doing. What I'm truly hoping for is a paradigm shift. We will see.

Just so that my meditation from last night does not get wasted, let me share with you what I discovered. First, let me give you the Law of Ausar. I like to personalize the law based upon the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen from his book, Maat, The 11 Laws of God.

Ausar: My nature is an unconquerable peace; therefore, nothing and no one in the world can be against me. All experiences come to me to promote my reclamation of peace that I may acquire wisdom and power.

Insight -- My worthiness has always been tied to money and academic stature, not Divinity. Also, my worthiness has been tied to how well I followed the rules, not how well I fulfilled my purpose in the Divine Plan of the All -- the Creator of all.

I want to stop right here. There is a lot to consider, but there's no hurry. So, until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Assessment -- Ausar

Hetep Everyone,

I've been having experiences that remind me of the yin/yang symbol in which part of the white exists in part of the black and visa versa. Basically, it seems that the Universe is trying to remind me that I must not try to be too perfect, to loosen up. I'm not sure that I fully comprehend the message I am receiving, but it feels as if The Universe is saying that in my approach I am disregarding compassion for my Self as well as others.

I know that more will be revealed to me later.

Until next time,
Hetep