Last night's meditation concerned Het-Heru. At this stage, each meditation has specific objectives. Here are the Het-Heru objectives from Ra Un Nefer Amen's Tree of Life Meditation System:
To develop the ability to invoke emotions, especially joy, at will.
To develop the awareness that our imagination is the means through which we cultivate our emotions, and is therefore the source of our wishes, wants, and supposed needs.
Let's start with the first objective. For some reason, throughout all of the meditation cycles that I've performed, I just haven't focused on this one too much. I think it has quite a lot to do with lack of belief that it's really possible to go from say anxiety to joy at will. It's one of the things I intend to work on. Until such time, I will admit that with all of the trauma in my life that has led to my having life-long crippling anxiety, the time between attacks and recovery has greatly lessened since I've been using the meditation system and this is without having anxiety recovery as a specific objective. That's life-changing.
Now, for the second objective -- This one is easier for me to reason out...I am to become consciously aware that I use my imagination to cultivate my emotions. Our imagination are very easy to change when we are consciously aware that we are using it. The problem is that we aren't always aware that our emotions are fed by our imagination.
Okay, I'm feeling anxious about something that I want to do, but believe that it will not manifest so my imagination of disappointment feeds my anxiety and I get locked into being anxious like it's a reaping loop. I get so locked into my emotion that I am unaware of anything else. This is why awareness must be cultivated through mediumistic trance and a program like the meditation system. This will make it easier to detach myself from my emotions and concentrate on the fact that my emotions are fed by illusions from my imagination. It's a way to understand that my anxiety is not real, but based upon something that is as insubstantial as smoke.
My theme for this meditation cycle is to manifest money that I want. I discovered through the earlier part of the cycle that the images I've been running through my mind have not been supportive of my desires. Anxiety has been such a severe problem throughout my entire life that, as I stated in an earlier post, I may need to have this as a theme for an entire cycle. I don't know yet, and, probably won't know until the end of this cycle. Will I finally stop allowing anxiety to stop me from manifesting the money I want? I can't wait to find out.
In the meantime, I must persist as imperfectly as I do, trusting that the meditations will leak through to my waking consciousness as experience has taught me to be possible.
That's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep
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