Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 17 -- Maat

Hetep Everyone,

Ra Un Nefer Amen tells us that Divine Law is an expression of the inter-relationship between all things. What in the world does this mean? When I first began the Tree of Life Meditation System (TOLM), I always skipped over this information because I didn't understand it. I don't claim to fully understand it, but this is as much a mission of mine as mastering Men Ab and Waking meditation.

The way I picture the inter-relationship and interdependency of Divine Law is like a machine (bicycle-type) with 11 wheels bound by one chain all turning together to move you forward. There must be a great deal of order and structure to coordinate this movement or it won't work. This means that movements are free, but limited to their own space. This is Maat keeping everything in order so that structural integrity is maintained.

When I started this meditation cycle, I wanted to manifest some money. This was the first time that I had done a cycle concerning something so tangible. I was very skeptical about being able to meet my objective. My life experiences have conditioned my perspective so that I expect disappointment and fear success. If you've read some of my earlier posts then you may have a clearer picture as to how this backwardness developed. Only my work with the TOLM system has given me the courage to attempt to achieve this particular objective.

Every time I begin a cycle, I never know what will reveal itself.The reason for this has mostly to due with Maat. Maat must keep everything in balance. There is no need for me to manifest money if I am not ready to be a good steward of it. First, my weaknesses as a steward must be exposed so that they can be strengthened. Once strengthened, structure and balance will have been established. Then I will be ready to manage successfully the money I receive. Bring my spirit into alignment first, then give me what I want, if it will not disturb the balance of anyone or anything else. This is Maat, maintaining order. This is why spiritual alignment is spiritual cultivation.

Cultivating the spirit takes time, patience, and dedication. This scenario doesn't quite fit with our modern culture, which worships, through deed and action, the instantaneous. According to the Metu Neter, before our five senses can detect the physical objects which have manifested, those objects must first develop through 10 other invisible spheres of creation -- Amen, Sphere 0 through Auset, Sphere 9. If you can believe (Know) that this is true, this means that almost all of processes of existence are invisible.

Think of a pregnant woman. In this Western culture, before they invented machines that could create pictures of the gestation process, people had to simply trust and be patient until the child came. The Metu Neter provides the information we need to understand the processes of spiritual, and, therefore, physical transformation.

In the Tree of Life Meditation System, I found chapter 10, the chapter on Maat to be perhaps the most boring chapter in the book. It's kind of like watching a planted seed grow before it breaks ground. Reading this chapter, like cultivating your spirit is an act of knowing that all of the work you put into it has a great potential for bearing the sweetest fruit -- the fruit on the Tree of Life.

That's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 16 -- HeruKhuti

Hetep Everyone,

It's one thing to say I've got to change the beliefs that feed my anxiety; it's another thing to do it. How do you move from theory to practice? This is exactly the point of the Tree of Life Meditation System (TOLM).

You initiate an intention to unite your will to your spirit regarding a particular objective (Hopefully after having consulted the oracle). Your subconscious is dead to your intention so you must resurrect your subconscious mind -- awaken it to your intentions. Your devotion to this resurrection will eventually lead to manifesting your intentions within your waking consciousness, causing you to effortlessly act and/or attract assistants to manifest your intentions. Using the TOLM system assures that whatever you create will be created in a harmonious balance, bringing and restoring balance to all around you. The process can be a bit rocky, but devotion -- persistence -- is the key.

I am finding that the more order that I can bring to my life, the easier it is for me to remain persistent.

*Warning* -- order does not mean rigidity. People and events flow in and out of your life. If you block this flow, you may miss out on the messages they bring and you may miss the opportunity to be a part of the flow of love and compassion that wants to be a part of your life. It may be difficult to establish boundaries at first, but if your response is nonjudgmental, your boundaries should eventually settle into a steady pattern.

I've been working on a daily schedule based upon the Metu Neter vol. 1. I've been following it for a while and I love it. It helps me bring more order to my thoughts to know when to do what. For someone like me who lives in her thoughts and has a tendency to over analyze everything, too many choices can cause stagnation, and, goodness knows I have enough of that in my life.

I'm going to share the schedule with you. Maybe you will find it useful or maybe it will spark some ideas for you to take the concept further. I would love some feedback on this. Here it goes:

1. Tehuti -- Sunset to 9pm -- Choose your objective for the next day
2. Auset -- 9pm-12am -- Mediumistic trance meditation -- planting the seed of your objective
3. Seker -- 12am-3am -- Ausar journeys to the Underworld -- the seed of your objective is sown and an egg fashioned to be born into the world
4. Het-Heru -- 3am-Sunrise -- Gestation period of the egg, creating joy for your objective
5. Maat-- Sunrise-9am -- Develop an overall picture of your objective and love for those who will benefit from it.
6. Heru -- 9am-12pm -- Resurrection of the King. Pause. Still your will. Command your day by commanding your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
7. HeruKhuti -- 12pm-3pm -- Face the hardest tasks. Use the blade of HeruKhuti to sever your ego from your emotions
8. Sebek -- 3pm-Sunset -- Seek information from which to choose your objective for the next day.

In this crazy world where such boundaries are scoffed at for causing stagnation, I find the schedule comforting. No matter how bad the anxiety attacks are, I can eventually remember that there is a bigger picture and that through the illusive fog of what I perceive to be real, I can find my footing again.

Now, let's talk about Men Ab Meditation and waking trance. An anxiety attack is a trance state. Knowing this and trying to break out of the trance are two different things. Breaking out of this state is like trying to become an objective observer of your dreams, not just a participant within them.

Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book Tree of Life Meditation System (T.O.L.M.) recommends ignoring your feelings without trying to block them. You know I became resentful of him for such a recommendation. The point of the anxiety is to escape, not to stand still and let yourself get hit be feelings you think will kill you. He also says that when the emotions become overwhelming you should use certain special breathing techniques. The problem with this is that at those moments, I don't feel like doing special breathing techniques. I would much rather wallow in my emotional trance state. Sometimes imagining HeruKhuti's blade severing my emotions helps, but the only solution to this problem that I have come up with is to cultivate more devotion to mediumistic trance at night and, now, to become just as devoted to Men Ab and waking trance during the day -- in essence, to keep doing what I'm doing. Be persistent and stop worrying about how long it's going to take.

Well, that's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 15 -- Heru

Hetep Everyone,

Well, it's happened. The surprise that I told you about in earlier posts has arrived. By surprise, I mean breakthrough. Yesterday, I realized that I had manifested something tangible from the Universe that I had wanted. As a result, I suffered a huge anxiety attack. This has been a repeated pattern in my life which has almost always led to shut downs and self-sabotage (We all handle things in different ways.). Thanks to the Tree of Life Meditation System (TOLM), I was able to recognize the source of anxiety and the symptoms of an oncoming attack.

The source of the attacks is trauma that I suffered during my infancy. Please don't ever think that because babies can't talk that they can't remember. Our brains are so powerful that they hold the memories of experiences of all our lifetimes. We just don't know how to access those memories. Okay, that's not true. This meditation system has that potential. My point is that what happens in our infancy has a huge effect on what kind of adults we become.

I heard a story, I think that it was told by Runoko Rashidi in one of his lectures, about some French scholars who went to Africa to study how Africans raise their children so that the Europeans could help them improve. The French folks discovered that the African children were far more advanced than European children, comparatively. One example, if my memory is correct, was that the African children were potty trained at six months. What was the explanation for this? The children never went without being touched. Even at night, someone always had a loving had on them, reassuring them of their connection to everyone else.

Conversely, here in America, one of the sayings that I've always heard when it comes to babies in the black community is, "Put that baby down! You'll spoil her!"

Dr. Frances Cress Welsing, in her book The Isis Papers recommends giving children unlimited access to your lap (Lap Time) until the age of 4, letting them decide when they're ready to get down.

I'm saying all of this because in our community we have been so far removed by slavery and segregation from the way that our ancestors reared us, that the European ways of neglect seem natural. Worse, hidden deep in our closets are the residual effects of slavery and segregation. I'm talking about child molestation.

This is some old European evil, that must be exposed if we are to heal it and get rid of it.

I remember watching this Katherine Hepburn movie called The Lion in Winter. The movie is set among their royalty in 1183 A.D. They talk about raping young boys like its some sort of delicacy (champagne, caviar, and a little boy, instead of a cigar). It was their nonchalant acceptance of such behavior, spoken within the same context of Christianity, that got me. If it happened among the royals, then it certainly got passed down to the wannabes. Don't even think of telling me that this didn't happen in slavery and that it still doesn't happen.

I believe that most people think that molestation is a female problem, but gender doesn't matter. Slavery brought this to our community and it is still running rampant, perhaps even more now than ever so this post is for everyone.

My mother suffered from what we today call postpartum depression, but she had always suffered from a mild form of mental illness stimulated by growing up during segregation in Shreveport, LA. She suffered a severe breakdown and couldn't take care of us. My father left us with people he trusted so that he could work two jobs. I don't think he ever knew what happened to us. My mother recovered enough to take care of us, but her childhood mental illness was left unchecked so we grew up with even more trauma. However, because of my dad and the fact that my mother's "episodes" were spaced out, although, sporadic, we also had a great deal of American "normalcy." My father died when I was 13. My mother didn't really begin to get the help she needed until I became an adult.

It wasn't for lack of trying. My mother always knew she needed help, but the doctors were white and uncaring. It took her decades to find the right kind of help. She never stopped searching (Applause, Please!).

The effects of her illness, attacks from trusted loved ones, and my father's death at an early age have left my siblings and me devastated, not to mention the succeeding generations. But we persist.

My objectives with the TOLM system so far have been largely to heal the trauma of my childhood and my relationship with my mother, the effects of which have been stupendous. My mother is receptive to anything that will help her heal and astute enough to reject what will not help. The insights that have been revealed to me during the TOLM system have helped us both to heal beyond measure.

Now, it seems that it is time to heal the adult trauma that I have inflicted upon myself through anxiety and self-sabotage.

Normally, I would have interpreted yesterday's anxiety attack as a huge failure and shut down completely, unable to do anything, feeling worthless, inept, and every negative name in the book that you can think of. Because of my success with the TOLM, however, I didn't do this. Set and I (as Heru)went to war and last night, Tehuti loaned me his eye. I'm talking about the metaphorein from Ra Un Nefer Amen's Metu Neter vol. 2, p. 137-160.

Previous cycles of the TOLM system had already revealed to me that my anxiety stems from the cry of the baby girl inside of me who new that no one was going to come to her rescue in the midst of the worst of the worst. Why then would I have my worst anxiety attack of the cycle when I received something that I wanted very much?

For forty years, my expectations in life have been based upon the fact that no help would come. This has tainted my perception of what "help" is. Even when I have been able to recognize "help" as help, I've felt unworthy of it. If I accepted help, I would sabotage it just to prove my unworthiness.

Understanding this blessed insight isn't enough. I've got to change the beliefs that feed it. That means that this meditation cycle has officially shifted focus from my original objective of obtaining money to healing my anxiety. That is not to say that the money won't come, but it is no longer the prize. Ashe!

I need to say something here about compassion. Our people (the African diaspora) have suffered and lost so much at the hands of Europeans and wannabes. Now, when we have the capacity to assess what has happened to us, our brightest scholars are so blinded by hopes of European-influenced opulence that we are seemingly unable to cohesively understand what has happened to us. Even the "conscious" brothas and sistas, are blinded by European assessments of our responses to trauma. You never know what someone is going through or why. We are all different and we all incarnated with different strengths, weaknesses, and agendas. Be compassionate in your assessment of others without judging too quickly or too harshly. If any people deserve a second look and reconsideration, it's us by us.

That's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 4 -- Seker

Hetep Everyone,

Last night's Tree of Life Meditation for Seker was of supreme quality. I remembered everything:

• I contracted my lower abdomen when I exhaled.
• I expanded my lower abdomen when I inhaled.
• I contracted my perineum when I held my breath.
• I pictured two Sesh Metut -- the Uas Staff and the Aungkh.

Contracting the perineum while holding my breath really makes a big difference when attempting to reach the trance state where answers can be discovered.

A lot of times, I get complacent about my meditation techniques and do not achieve good results. I allow myself to be satisfied that I've at least meditated. This is sloppiness and laziness. This is one of the chief reasons for staying committed to doing the Tree of Life Meditation System each monthly cycle. My consistent participation in TOLM helps to ensure that I catch and correct this sloppiness. Persistence, not perfection makes a difference.

One benefit of performing a good meditation is receiving a gem of an insight, which did occur for me. My confirmation of this was awakening at the Seker hour (12am-3am) with the insight firmly on my mind.

Enough stalling. Let me give you the Law of Seker and the insight.This is the law according to Ra Un Nefer Amen in Maat the 11 Laws of God.

Seker -- When the emotions of Man manifest in response to the Word of God, they have the power to influence the course of any and all events in the world.

Insight -- Seker, 3rd Sphere on the Tree of Life is about Spiritual Power and your ability to influence the course of the events in your life, as the Law states. We are, of course, barred from this power until we attain the fullness of our Spirituality, but we can tap into bits and pieces of it, even if it is by "accident."

The insight that I received after a review of the Seker chapter in The Tree of Life Meditation book by Ra Un Nefer Amen was that I am endowed with the ability to achieve things even though I lack external and intellectual resources. Further, I have difficulty imagining myself possessing the money that I want. Instead, I was directed in the meditation to return to my understanding of perception.

Astrologically speaking, it is easier for me to grasp the concept of perception than physical manifestation. My Mercury is in the sign of the House that it rules -- Virgo, which is where my sun sign is placed. My tendency leans more toward thought than action. Those with different astrology birth chart readings will react to what I'm about to say differently, as should be expected.

My understanding of perception is that we see what most benefits our states of mind, belief systems, and values. This is how we limit our interpretation of reality. We see what we want to see even though much, much more might be there.

Here is an example: I try to mentally stimulate my Chakras, imagining their colors and placement in my body. I was sitting in the kitchen one day while I was doing this and I started looking for the Chakra colors (colors of the rainbow) around the room. I didn't intentionally place any of the colors in the kitchen, I just felt that they should be there. Sure enough, I found all of them, looking at the calendar, cereal boxes, pictures of relatives, etc. I've done this in different locations and I find what I'm looking for.

Further development of the insight led me to understand that instead of waiting to see if the money that I want will manifest itself at the end of the meditation cycle "somehow," I should start to look for the goods and services for which I would exchange the money.

As I said earlier, my tendency is to be cerebral so taking direct action, for me, is intimidating. Fortunately, I am still in the part of the meditation cycle that only requires me to look at the issue. The other half of the cycle will program me for taking action, but now I know that this action is ahead for me. One of the benefits of this meditation cycle will be an alleviation of my fear of action. I will have to address it in my meditation. Even if my efforts are lousy, my fear will be addressed, and, therefore, weakened, awaiting other meditation cycles that will further strengthen my courage.

So far, I'm impressed with my progress -- persistence, not perfection.

Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System - Day 1

Hello All,

Today is the day of the New Moon and, therefore, the beginning of a new Tree of Life Meditation (TOLM) Cycle. The TOLM, of course, is based upon Ra Un Nefer Amen's book of the same title.

I was supposed to do the Amen meditation last night, but I was not feeling well and I fell asleep. I have learned not to panic when things like this happen. Experience has taught me to just keep going. Persistence, not perfection, is the key to success.

Well, let me explain how I do things. I select a problem that I want to work on. This month, I want to earn some money that reflects prosperity. Okay, first of all, let me say that I've been doing the TOLM system consecutively for this entire year and this is the first time that my theme has been about a mundane objective. Mostly what I have focused on have been things dealing with unblocking obstacles that have frozen my life. Now, I feel confident enough to pursue this.

Just a side note -- for each objective, no matter how lousy or well I did, I was always able to see some marked improvement in my life. Take heart and keep on pushing.

So, last night, I was supposed to meditate on how I broke the law of Amen by not manifesting the money I want. Here is the reason behind the presumption that I am breaking the law of Amen: if I were not breaking this law, I would be able to manifest the money instantly, merely by thinking of it and seeing it in my hands. Since I am unable to do this, I have to take the long way around and clear out the obstacles that are preventing me from having the money.

I came up with the following understanding of my law-breaking activities today rather than last night. Here is the law of Amen as well as some ways that I am breaking itself:

Amen - I am made in the likeness of a peace that nothing can disturb. I reclaim my peace so that I may attain to the reason that I have come into existence -- the enjoyment of life.

You may have noticed that I have personalized the wording of the law as given by Ra Un Nefer Amen. I find that I prefer to say the law this way.

1. I break the law of Amen by believing that the circumstances in my life where that money feels like "lack" are circumstances that are conditioned. That is to say, that those circumstances are nearly impossible to change.

2. My peace is disturbed when I think about what I don't have.

3. I get anxious when I think about what having that money could do to help others who seem to need it so much.

Okay, this should give you some idea of what it's like to examine my relationship with the deity Amen. I've got a lot of work to do to cultivate the energy of peace. It's okay. Like I said, it's about persistence, not perfection. I always have a spiritual quotient score of "0" for Amen -- for nearly all the deities, in fact. I don't worry about it anymore. It's too overwhelming; however, the rewards I get for trying without worrying are to good to allow me to stop.

Well, that's it for now
Peace, Hetep