Know Thyself through Your Work

Another difficult lesson for me from the Metu Neter concerns the will, as in will power. You may have some problems with this as well. For some people, they are very focused and are able to achieve what they set their minds to. I used to envy such people and try to emulate them, but things beyond my control kept cropping up like...Life -- family crises, crippling anxiety, poverty, low self-worth, resentments, gang warfare in the neighborhood, uncertainties about God, etc. It's hard to focus when you've got these types of issues circling all around you.

From my horoscope and readings from the oracle of Tehuti, I learned that using my will power to achieve material success was not my first priority. This was an extremely difficult concept to embrace, especially living in the United States where your worth is measured by your bank account. What a mind job this did on me because I could see the truth of these readings. This is the type of truth that keeps you from wanting to look in the mirror. "Forget about material success," Truth said. "Take care of your issues first."

What am I supposed to live on while I'm doing this, was my question. A friend of mine laughed at me once when we were discussing this. He said that things have a way of taking care of themselves. This answer was even worse. I like to see how things will work out, then take action. I had to admit the truth, however, that I never liked what I saw. My vision had been too clouded by all of the negative issues I was living with. The only way to clear my vision was to deal with my negative issues. There has been no way around it. Believe me, I've looked.

Now, I have family elders who survived segregation and remember ancestors who survived slavery. They understand physical labor, certainly not mental or emotional work or even spiritual work. They learned to leave all of these things in the hands of "The Good Lord." This means that they have very little appreciation for what I'm experiencing. How do I handle this? Let's just say that as my understanding grows so does the quality of my response.

The systems of the slave trade, slavery, and segregation, as I see them, are all a part of a time that I call "winter" -- ruled by the white man. In order for me to settle this in my mind, I had to look at things on a galactic scale, beyond the earth and solar system. Winter has lasted for millenniums and we are nearing the end of it. The earth cannot sustain the drain of natural resources that the "work" of winter inflicted. No longer can we work without conscience.

Europeans would have us believe that man has always lived in conflict, but not by a long shot is this the truth. The nature of man is peace not conflict. This is why the work of winter is breaking down. So many people like me are stopping to take care of those negative issues which will bring us out of winter. I feel honored to be among this group. Truthfully, though, I have to keep reminding myself to feel honor. After all, I still live in a world that honors the bank account above all else. But I keep striving.