I am unmarried, without children so I always assumed that I loved my mother, siblings, nieces, and nephews. That is something that you are not supposed to question. However, when it came down to it, I didn't treat my family as if I loved them. I was mean and oh so surly. My family was my last consideration.
When I began to study metaphysics, I found that love was a big part of it. During a huge argument with one of my sisters, I had to admit to both of us that I did not love her. In fact, I realized that I could not define love. I was shocked at this because I never question what love meant. I just thought it was a feeling.
I created a definition -- to want the best for someone else and to want them to reach their full potential. I still, however, did not put my family higher on my list of priorities. It wasn't until I gave a talk, one Kwanzaa, on Umoja -- Unity -- that I realized the truth spoken by Dr. John Henrik Clarke during a Q&A session at one of his lectures.
A young man, showing off his prowess as a black revolutionary, asked Dr. Clarke what he could do to help awaken the black community to its heritage. Dr. Clarke told the young man to start with his own family. He said to make sure that his children, wife, nieces, nephews, cousins, etc. knew who they were. The young man was very disappointed in this answer. He seemed to want a broader source of recognition, but he had no choice but to accept what was given to him.
During my Umoja talk, I understood that I had not taken Dr. Clarke's advice. All of the problems that we "conscious folks" see that need to be corrected in the community, almost always exist in our own family who some of us (I had included myself) designate as unworthy.
Now, I'm learning to place among my own healing, the healing of my family as my top priority through teaching and acts of love, generosity, patience, and compassion. Ashe, Ma'at!
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