Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 16 -- HeruKhuti

Hetep Everyone,

It's one thing to say I've got to change the beliefs that feed my anxiety; it's another thing to do it. How do you move from theory to practice? This is exactly the point of the Tree of Life Meditation System (TOLM).

You initiate an intention to unite your will to your spirit regarding a particular objective (Hopefully after having consulted the oracle). Your subconscious is dead to your intention so you must resurrect your subconscious mind -- awaken it to your intentions. Your devotion to this resurrection will eventually lead to manifesting your intentions within your waking consciousness, causing you to effortlessly act and/or attract assistants to manifest your intentions. Using the TOLM system assures that whatever you create will be created in a harmonious balance, bringing and restoring balance to all around you. The process can be a bit rocky, but devotion -- persistence -- is the key.

I am finding that the more order that I can bring to my life, the easier it is for me to remain persistent.

*Warning* -- order does not mean rigidity. People and events flow in and out of your life. If you block this flow, you may miss out on the messages they bring and you may miss the opportunity to be a part of the flow of love and compassion that wants to be a part of your life. It may be difficult to establish boundaries at first, but if your response is nonjudgmental, your boundaries should eventually settle into a steady pattern.

I've been working on a daily schedule based upon the Metu Neter vol. 1. I've been following it for a while and I love it. It helps me bring more order to my thoughts to know when to do what. For someone like me who lives in her thoughts and has a tendency to over analyze everything, too many choices can cause stagnation, and, goodness knows I have enough of that in my life.

I'm going to share the schedule with you. Maybe you will find it useful or maybe it will spark some ideas for you to take the concept further. I would love some feedback on this. Here it goes:

1. Tehuti -- Sunset to 9pm -- Choose your objective for the next day
2. Auset -- 9pm-12am -- Mediumistic trance meditation -- planting the seed of your objective
3. Seker -- 12am-3am -- Ausar journeys to the Underworld -- the seed of your objective is sown and an egg fashioned to be born into the world
4. Het-Heru -- 3am-Sunrise -- Gestation period of the egg, creating joy for your objective
5. Maat-- Sunrise-9am -- Develop an overall picture of your objective and love for those who will benefit from it.
6. Heru -- 9am-12pm -- Resurrection of the King. Pause. Still your will. Command your day by commanding your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
7. HeruKhuti -- 12pm-3pm -- Face the hardest tasks. Use the blade of HeruKhuti to sever your ego from your emotions
8. Sebek -- 3pm-Sunset -- Seek information from which to choose your objective for the next day.

In this crazy world where such boundaries are scoffed at for causing stagnation, I find the schedule comforting. No matter how bad the anxiety attacks are, I can eventually remember that there is a bigger picture and that through the illusive fog of what I perceive to be real, I can find my footing again.

Now, let's talk about Men Ab Meditation and waking trance. An anxiety attack is a trance state. Knowing this and trying to break out of the trance are two different things. Breaking out of this state is like trying to become an objective observer of your dreams, not just a participant within them.

Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book Tree of Life Meditation System (T.O.L.M.) recommends ignoring your feelings without trying to block them. You know I became resentful of him for such a recommendation. The point of the anxiety is to escape, not to stand still and let yourself get hit be feelings you think will kill you. He also says that when the emotions become overwhelming you should use certain special breathing techniques. The problem with this is that at those moments, I don't feel like doing special breathing techniques. I would much rather wallow in my emotional trance state. Sometimes imagining HeruKhuti's blade severing my emotions helps, but the only solution to this problem that I have come up with is to cultivate more devotion to mediumistic trance at night and, now, to become just as devoted to Men Ab and waking trance during the day -- in essence, to keep doing what I'm doing. Be persistent and stop worrying about how long it's going to take.

Well, that's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep