Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 6 -- HeruKhuti

Hetep Everyone,

Once again, here, is my meditation objective for this meditation cycle: I want to see my transformation into a Divine Being as I learn to pause and consciously observe my decision processes before I act.

HeruKhuti deals with Divine Justice. This means that this energy deals with punishment, rewards, and protection. While I've been observing myself without judgment, I've noticed how easy it has been to forget about HeruKhuti, because I specifically wanted to stop worrying about fear and guilt, giving myself permission to screw up. This method has revealed to me what I tend to gravitate toward and which laws I break most easily. Knowing my weaknesses has shown me where and upon what I need to focus my efforts.

Here is the Law of HeruKhuti, personalized form the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

HeruKhuti: I know that God neither punishes nor protects nor rewards. I have the comfort of controlling these for myself.

How do I break the Law of HeruKhuti by not pausing and observing?

I allow myself to remain blind to the spiritual work that I need to do. This gives me the illusion that I am not responsible for knowing what needs to be done.

That is all for now. I wish you great fortune. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 6 -- HeruKhuti

Hetep Everyone,

Letting go is an act of joy, not merely a leap of faith. This speaks to the Dogon saying that you can find the universe in a seed. If you seek out joy in the situations you are faced with, no matter what they are, giving up worrying and feeding your emotions, then you find a universe that you haven't seen before.

For me, taking something on faith meant I had nothing to do with what happened, leaving me to imagine the worst possible scenarios, but last night I had a profound experience that was a wonderful wake-up call.

I was with my sister. She needed to take her daughter some food at work. We were about to go and get the food when my sister's two-year-old grandson announced that he needed to go to the bathroom. My sister asked me to take him while she left us to go and get the food. I was annoyed at being left behind. It was getting late and I was tired.

In my mind, I started going through the formula I posted on yesterday's blog entry:

* Detach from what I think is reality.
* Accept what's happening.
* Immerse myself in my situation.
* Seek out images of joy for going with the flow.
* Look for opportunities of transformation. Every situation is an opportunity for creation. Be what you are -- Divine.

After going to the bathroom, I decided to take my nephew for a walk. As I started to look for images of joy (trees, crispness of the night, the moon), I began to become conscious of my nephew's hand in mine. I started to listen to what he was saying, not as babble, but as the communications of a two-year-old telling me what he saw. He begin to direct the path of our walk so I let him.

We came upon a tee that I really liked. I pointed it out to him. He saw the acorns on the ground first. They were huge even though the oak tree was very young. He was determined to hold as many acorns in his little hands as he possibly could. By the time we stuffed his little coat pocket with acorns, my sister had returned.

Becoming conscious of the absolute privilege and pleasure of being in my nephew's company was not the only profound thing that happened. As my energy grew from the pleasure I was experiencing, I began to understand that I was in a situation where creation could take place. I asked myself what I could create in that situation. Suddenly possibilities were endless. Recognizing that I was in a situation of endless possibilities gave me pure joy, which I was able to share with my nephew while he shared his world with me.

How does this tie into my meditation cycle objective? Here is the objective: I want to experience my purpose in God's Divine plan for me based upon truthful premises determined by relationships of how my functions (thoughts, feelings, and actions) fit the form I'm trying to create (my purpose).

I keep imagining that this objective speaks to really grandiose manifestations, but what I am experiencing is excitement for being consciously aware of my thoughts, feelings, and actions and the opportunities for creating new possibilities from old perspectives.

Here is the Law of HeruKhuti, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

HeruKhuti: I know that God neither punishes, nor protects, nor rewards. I have the comfort of controlling these for myself.

How do I break the Law of HeruKhuti?

I have not cultivated the comfort that I can experience from controlling what happens to me.

Well, that's all for now. I wish you great fortune. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 16 -- HeruKhuti

Hetep Everyone,

I have given myself an assignment to record each of my daily tasks and to record what I enjoy most about the task. No matter how small it is, I must think of something I genuinely enjoy.

What an eye opener this has been. The assignment is much more difficult for me than I could have imagined. I have discovered that I complain too much and that I am very sad. I didn't know how sad I've been. It's not a nice thing to learn about myself, but, at least now, I know it.

I've decided to look for joyful images so that I can, through meditation, replace the images that have been causing me sadness. What is funny about this is that now I can feel the wait of the sadness. No wonder each task has always felt like such a burden.

In burdening myself down like this, I have not been just with myself, and, therefore, I have not been able to discover my worth. HeruKhuti deals with justice. Here is the Law of HeruKhuti, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book Maat: the 11 Laws of God: I know that God neither punishes, nor rewards, nor protects. I have the comfort of controlling these for myself.

In learning to transform burdening, sad images into joyful ones, I think I'm well on my way to learning how to be just with my Self and discovering my worth.

Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 6 -- HeruKhuti

Hetep Everyone,

I want to share a dream with you that I had recently.

I became conscious of having a nightmare. Something was dead and trying to attack me. Normally, I would do a "poor me" and ask why or how I had attracted this energy and then I would run from it. This time, I stood my ground. I asked the image what it wanted. I called on the ancestors and other beneficent spirits for help. I called on alchemy. I told the image to transform -- to reveal its truth. The image became a kaleidoscope, transforming into different shapes that looked like all sorts of symbols and sometimes, distorted, frightening faces. I was reminded of images of ghosts that I had seen from the DVD, the Tibetan Book of the Dead. I tried to shine light energy on the scene to get the images to reveal their true nature. Eventually, the black background of the images began to crack and split, revealing green land, blue sky, and sunshine. I became less conscious of my dreaming, following deeper into sleep.

When I awoke partially, I was disappointed that I had not received a message from the images. Spirit revealed to me that I had received a message: I stood my ground; I didn't have an anxiety attack; I didn't run; and I called on assistance. I prevented my Self from feeling alone and helpless.

That was enough of a message.

When I woke up completely, this is what came to my mind. "You have to be at a certain level to act like a Divine Being so stop beating yourself up."

On the Tree of Life, HeruKhuti is the 5th sphere -- half way up the tree. By starting at the 10th sphere and working my way up, I have plenty of time and room to make mistakes and get things right. I have time to "Know My Self." I have time to heal and to fulfill my purpose. I have time to feel good about being my "I Am."

Here is the Law of HeruKhuti, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

HeruKhuti: I know that God neither punishes nor rewards nor protects. I have the comfort of controlling these for myself.

How do I break the Law of HeruKhuti by not experiencing my worth as a Divine Being?

I expect some outside source to protect me, to give me things that will make me feel worthy. I fight myself and the experiences that will reveal my true nature as a peaceful, loving, Divine Being. The song, Let It Be, just came to my mind, so I thought I would include the video. Hope you enjoy it.

Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Assessment -- HeruKhuti

Hetep Everyone,

One of the questions that Ra Un Nefer Amen asks in his book Tree of Life Meditation System is what will happen if you ignore a craving or an urge. Will the world end? No. Nothing drastic will probably happen. However, ignoring such urges or choosing to do the opposite will lead to the development of spiritual power, according to Ra Un Nefer Amen.

This question of what will happen seems to be one that is very difficult to recall during a moment of strong urges. Men Ab and trance meditation are my remedies. I am experimenting with them now to develop my skills to resist such urges.

Another question that I often consider during such times is what is so special about gaining spiritual power? I seem to forget the answer during those moments. One answer that I have found is that I get to experience being a creator. Such moments help me to create the kind of life I want to live. The more skill I develop at resisting temptation, the more I can create my own world. This is the hope that I have.

HeruKhuti's role is to help me use his sword to cut away my emotions so that I stop identifying urges as temptations with power over my will. I cut away my ego and replace it with the energy of all powerful Ausar.

In the case of my meditation objective, I can use this insight to program myself to stop procrastinating and committing other such acts.

That's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 16 -- HeruKhuti

Hetep Everyone,

It's one thing to say I've got to change the beliefs that feed my anxiety; it's another thing to do it. How do you move from theory to practice? This is exactly the point of the Tree of Life Meditation System (TOLM).

You initiate an intention to unite your will to your spirit regarding a particular objective (Hopefully after having consulted the oracle). Your subconscious is dead to your intention so you must resurrect your subconscious mind -- awaken it to your intentions. Your devotion to this resurrection will eventually lead to manifesting your intentions within your waking consciousness, causing you to effortlessly act and/or attract assistants to manifest your intentions. Using the TOLM system assures that whatever you create will be created in a harmonious balance, bringing and restoring balance to all around you. The process can be a bit rocky, but devotion -- persistence -- is the key.

I am finding that the more order that I can bring to my life, the easier it is for me to remain persistent.

*Warning* -- order does not mean rigidity. People and events flow in and out of your life. If you block this flow, you may miss out on the messages they bring and you may miss the opportunity to be a part of the flow of love and compassion that wants to be a part of your life. It may be difficult to establish boundaries at first, but if your response is nonjudgmental, your boundaries should eventually settle into a steady pattern.

I've been working on a daily schedule based upon the Metu Neter vol. 1. I've been following it for a while and I love it. It helps me bring more order to my thoughts to know when to do what. For someone like me who lives in her thoughts and has a tendency to over analyze everything, too many choices can cause stagnation, and, goodness knows I have enough of that in my life.

I'm going to share the schedule with you. Maybe you will find it useful or maybe it will spark some ideas for you to take the concept further. I would love some feedback on this. Here it goes:

1. Tehuti -- Sunset to 9pm -- Choose your objective for the next day
2. Auset -- 9pm-12am -- Mediumistic trance meditation -- planting the seed of your objective
3. Seker -- 12am-3am -- Ausar journeys to the Underworld -- the seed of your objective is sown and an egg fashioned to be born into the world
4. Het-Heru -- 3am-Sunrise -- Gestation period of the egg, creating joy for your objective
5. Maat-- Sunrise-9am -- Develop an overall picture of your objective and love for those who will benefit from it.
6. Heru -- 9am-12pm -- Resurrection of the King. Pause. Still your will. Command your day by commanding your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
7. HeruKhuti -- 12pm-3pm -- Face the hardest tasks. Use the blade of HeruKhuti to sever your ego from your emotions
8. Sebek -- 3pm-Sunset -- Seek information from which to choose your objective for the next day.

In this crazy world where such boundaries are scoffed at for causing stagnation, I find the schedule comforting. No matter how bad the anxiety attacks are, I can eventually remember that there is a bigger picture and that through the illusive fog of what I perceive to be real, I can find my footing again.

Now, let's talk about Men Ab Meditation and waking trance. An anxiety attack is a trance state. Knowing this and trying to break out of the trance are two different things. Breaking out of this state is like trying to become an objective observer of your dreams, not just a participant within them.

Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book Tree of Life Meditation System (T.O.L.M.) recommends ignoring your feelings without trying to block them. You know I became resentful of him for such a recommendation. The point of the anxiety is to escape, not to stand still and let yourself get hit be feelings you think will kill you. He also says that when the emotions become overwhelming you should use certain special breathing techniques. The problem with this is that at those moments, I don't feel like doing special breathing techniques. I would much rather wallow in my emotional trance state. Sometimes imagining HeruKhuti's blade severing my emotions helps, but the only solution to this problem that I have come up with is to cultivate more devotion to mediumistic trance at night and, now, to become just as devoted to Men Ab and waking trance during the day -- in essence, to keep doing what I'm doing. Be persistent and stop worrying about how long it's going to take.

Well, that's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 6 -- HeruKhuti

Hetep Everyone,

Last night, I focused on HeruKhuti during my Tree of Life Meditation. My objective is to acquire some money that I want, but the meditation is revealing my need to deal with the fears that have prevented me from having the money already. Fear is the perfect complication for HeruKhuti to resolve.

While studying the deities, I discovered that HeruKhuti was the most intimidating for me. What makes this especially awkward is that HeruKhuti is one of my incarnation objectives for this lifetime. I could hardly believe it when the reading revealed this card. I wanted to put it back. My ego had told me resolutely that my incarnation objective was Sebek, dealing with my intellect. All of my thoughts, feelings, and actions pointed me in that direction. It wasn't until I did my astrology chart that I understood my confusion.

The planet Mercury and Sebek are comparable. Mercury rules Virgo where my Sun sign lies in the 6th House, which also is ruled by Mercury. This explained to me why my tendency is to be cerebral; however, I was born at night, making my Ascendant dominant. My Ascendant is Aries, ruled by Mars, which is comparable to HeruKhuti. Even my Feng Shui reading revealed fire energy, which is HeruKhuti energy, helping me to see that the earth tones (Sebek - Virgo energy)with which I loved to surround myself were adding to my imbalance. I just discovered this imbalance this year.

What a major conflict in perspective. I was bitter when I found out that this fire energy that I've been suppressing all of my life is supposed to manifest itself. When I told my mother that my horoscope showed that I had a quick temper, she said, "You just now finding that out?" Truthfully, it was news to me. I never acknowledged my own anger because I was too busy concentrating on the anger-provoking, stupid things that other people did. Seeing and feeling my own anger has been eye-opening, to say the least.

Anyway, I can no longer hide from HeruKhuti. What I called myself running from was HeruKhuti's knife and punishment. You can see it in the picture that I've provided.
I've always felt guilty, not that I've done anything especially wrong. I've just felt judged and found lacking some something, waiting for punishment of crimes I could never see that I had committed. There's nothing rational about this. It's just been a feeling haunting me for most of my life. The threat of HeruKhuti weighed heavily on me so I shoved it to the back of my mind.

Deeper studies of HeruKhuti have taught me that I had been seeing this energy through the eyes of my Christian upbringing. No. HeruKhuti is not some white God in the sky waiting to drag me off somewhere. The Law of HeruKhuti makes it plain that I control my punishments, protection, and rewards by following the Laws of Maat and treating my Self, others, and the environment according to those laws.

The best news that I discovered about HeruKhuti is that this Law is the 5th Sphere on the Tree of Life, meaning that I've got a lot of room to grow into it. I don't have to force my Self to act as if my spiritual development has already reached the 5th Sphere. Such an act isn't even truthful. I'm still in the bosom of Auset, wrapped in motherly love and compassion as I heal from the wounds of living and grow in spirit as a Divine Being.

I aspire toward HeruKhuti; therefore, I will know when I've arrived.

Here is the Law of HeruKhuti personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his Maat: The 11 Laws of God:

HeruKhuti: I know that God neither punishes, not protects nor rewards. I have the comfort of controlling these for my Self.

The insight that my meditation revealed was that instead of fearing HeruKhuti's knife, I should use it to sever, cut away, my fear for acting to obtain the money I want.

Until next time,
Hetep