Last night, I focused on HeruKhuti during my Tree of Life Meditation. My objective is to acquire some money that I want, but the meditation is revealing my need to deal with the fears that have prevented me from having the money already. Fear is the perfect complication for HeruKhuti to resolve.
While studying the deities, I discovered that HeruKhuti was the most intimidating for me. What makes this especially awkward is that HeruKhuti is one of my incarnation objectives for this lifetime. I could hardly believe it when the reading revealed this card. I wanted to put it back. My ego had told me resolutely that my incarnation objective was Sebek, dealing with my intellect. All of my thoughts, feelings, and actions pointed me in that direction. It wasn't until I did my astrology chart that I understood my confusion.
The planet Mercury and Sebek are comparable. Mercury rules Virgo where my Sun sign lies in the 6th House, which also is ruled by Mercury. This explained to me why my tendency is to be cerebral; however, I was born at night, making my Ascendant dominant. My Ascendant is Aries, ruled by Mars, which is comparable to HeruKhuti. Even my Feng Shui reading revealed fire energy, which is HeruKhuti energy, helping me to see that the earth tones (Sebek - Virgo energy)with which I loved to surround myself were adding to my imbalance. I just discovered this imbalance this year.
What a major conflict in perspective. I was bitter when I found out that this fire energy that I've been suppressing all of my life is supposed to manifest itself. When I told my mother that my horoscope showed that I had a quick temper, she said, "You just now finding that out?" Truthfully, it was news to me. I never acknowledged my own anger because I was too busy concentrating on the anger-provoking, stupid things that other people did. Seeing and feeling my own anger has been eye-opening, to say the least.
Anyway, I can no longer hide from HeruKhuti. What I called myself running from was HeruKhuti's knife and punishment. You can see it in the picture that I've provided.
I've always felt guilty, not that I've done anything especially wrong. I've just felt judged and found lacking some something, waiting for punishment of crimes I could never see that I had committed. There's nothing rational about this. It's just been a feeling haunting me for most of my life. The threat of HeruKhuti weighed heavily on me so I shoved it to the back of my mind.
Deeper studies of HeruKhuti have taught me that I had been seeing this energy through the eyes of my Christian upbringing. No. HeruKhuti is not some white God in the sky waiting to drag me off somewhere. The Law of HeruKhuti makes it plain that I control my punishments, protection, and rewards by following the Laws of Maat and treating my Self, others, and the environment according to those laws.
The best news that I discovered about HeruKhuti is that this Law is the 5th Sphere on the Tree of Life, meaning that I've got a lot of room to grow into it. I don't have to force my Self to act as if my spiritual development has already reached the 5th Sphere. Such an act isn't even truthful. I'm still in the bosom of Auset, wrapped in motherly love and compassion as I heal from the wounds of living and grow in spirit as a Divine Being.
I aspire toward HeruKhuti; therefore, I will know when I've arrived.
Here is the Law of HeruKhuti personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his Maat: The 11 Laws of God
:HeruKhuti: I know that God neither punishes, not protects nor rewards. I have the comfort of controlling these for my Self.
The insight that my meditation revealed was that instead of fearing HeruKhuti's knife, I should use it to sever, cut away, my fear for acting to obtain the money I want.
Until next time,
Hetep
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