Hetep Everyone,
Day 12 is the programming phase of the meditation cycle. At this point, I am to tally something called a Spiritual Quotient. This is a measurable account of my alignment with my True Self as a Divine Being.
During the first phase of the cycle, the examining phase, I studied my worth as a Divine Being from the perspectives of each deity or principle on the Tree of Life. Ra Un Nefer Amen, in his book, Tree of Life Meditation System, devotes one chapter per deity to explain these perspectives and possible ways in which I, as the meditator, break each law by not having already what I have requested in the meditation cycle.
At the end of each chapter are questions that help me to assess how well I am complying with each law. Affirmative answers are awarded points. The more points I have at the end of the examining phase, the higher my Spiritual Quotient.
It is difficult for me to amass points because I have difficulty complying with the laws. I could beat myself up and say, "Oh, you're a sinner," but that would not be true. The point of the meditation cycle is to program my spirit, to train myself, to comply with the laws. This takes time and lots of practice. It is almost impossible to read the laws and practice them consistently without training.
You would not expect a 300lb couch potato to run a marathon and then judge him for collapsing after the first quarter mile. But, if he were properly trained and committed to the conditioning, he could, over time, learn to do it -- with joy and enthusiasm. The same thing applies to following the laws.
My spiritual quotient is always very low -- less than 20. As Ra Un Nefer Amen puts it in Tree of Life Meditation System, " A person with a score below 109 is spiritually unstable and greatly dependent on circumstances for stability in their lives" (p. 217). I don't worry about this because I'm committed to following the meditation cycles and I have a lot of areas in my life that need to be reprogrammed. I can see progress.
Once I receive my spiritual quotient, the next step for me is to perform a meditation dedicated to the Sorrows of Auset. This helps me to reflect on genuine remorse for not living my life as a Divine Being and either to manifest my request or to remove my desire for the request.
Following this meditation, I would perform a second meditation in which I envision myself as my True Self -- Divine Being -- performing in a manor consistent with the 11 Laws. By this time, from my studies of myself, I would have some idea of what this manor would be, whether it would be seeing my Self receiving what I requested or performing an action in which my request was no longer needed.
For my Sorrows of Auset meditation, I visualized myself learning how to love me -- my person, my egoic self. I never learned to do this. I would always act under the assumption that I loved myself without any regard for the fact that I was never trained how to do it.
Why would I need training for something that is supposed to be "natural"? I've lived in trauma most of my life, some of it imposed upon me and a lot of it self-imposed. I am a descendant of the Willie Lynch legacies of slavery and segregation. Almost everyone I know suffers from this trauma. I think that training myself how to love myself is pivotal to living my life both as an earth-bound being and as a Divine Being with an infinite existence.
Well, this is all for now. Until next time,
Hetep
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