Once again, here is my meditation objective for this meditation cycle: I want to see my transformation into a Divine Being as I learn to pause and consciously observe my decision processes before I act.
I thought that giving myself permission to observe my choices, exercising my freedom to choose, would yield the benefits of making better choices, but the opposite has occurred. My choices are lousy, but something keeps telling me to hang in there -- to keep observing objectively. I don't like the choices that I'm making. These choices are familiar to me. I would always make these choices and then beat myself up as punishment. I have a feeling that it's important for me to know that I don't have to punish myself and that this process is not about getting away with something wrong either. I have to get it into my head that I am free to choose.
I've been looking at the Metu Neter vol. 4
. It looks like this past year has been preparing me for my work with vol. 4. However, the work requires great commitment, but again, it's all voluntary. I choose how committed I want to be. What I did find in vol. 4 was an answer to a question that I had been posing over and over again without receiving a satisfactory answer. Here's the question: What do I get for all of this work? Where's this taking me? According to vol. 4, I will receive divine counsel from the Neteru, miracles, and perfect harmony, but the most interesting part to me was the fact that, like the Tree of Life Meditation System, the work is to be repeated. The benefits and growth that I have received since working the meditation system consistently have been immeasurable in terms of spiritual development and psychological healing; however, vol. 4 offers a lot more direction and focus to assist with a paradigm shift toward living the laws instead of merely using them as academic exercises.
One of the best results from this past year's work, which emerged subtly, has been my being able to see the brighter side of things. By that I mean, I feel much more positive. I'm much more aware of when I'm participating in a negative conversation. I find myself stopping or attempting to transform negative conversations. I just don't want to be around them. I used to be the first to start them by complaining about things. Now, I find that I am consciously trying to stop complaining. It's a whole new way of life for me.
Here is the Law of Heru, personalized form the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God
.Heru: I have the power but not the right to ignore God's law. I choose to follow the law of God with the love and joy that grows from understanding so that the wisdom and power of God's spirit will flow through my being.
How do I break the Law of Heru by not pausing and observing?
I do not fully understand what is involved in having the freedom to make my choices. I am still compelled to choose based upon my lower nature.
That is all for now. I wish you great fortune. Until next time,
Hetep
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