Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 10 -- Auset

Hetep Everyone,

Once again, here is my meditation objective for this meditation cycle: I want to see my transformation into a Divine Being as I learn to pause and consciously observe my decision processes before I act.

Sometimes, I find myself slipping back into old habits. I don't meditate when I would like to or I don't eat the way I would like to. I just act as if I know nothing about spirituality. I get caught up in my lower nature of fears, anxieties, other people's dramas, etc. I have discovered that when I get this lost, I can find my way back by breathing. If I can reestablish my desired breathing patterns, then everything else eventually falls back into place.

Well, I have been practicing something similar with thinking. Thinking, as you may already know, can lead to ego. This may be why: thinking is filled with judging, assessing, and evaluating. These activities seem to be the basis of the unchecked ideas and images that flood our minds when we think. This type of thinking is egoic because we are always comparing our thoughts, feelings, and actions to those of others and we do this with situations as well. So, I'm trying to pause my thoughts in the following manner: to stop thinking, I must stop judging, assessing, and evaluating. I've had a lot of success in catching myself being caught up in my own ego. Ego, you may recall, is the territory of Auset.

Here is the Law of Auset, personalized form the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

Auset: I am prepared to sacrifice everything in order to become God's vessel on earth. In return, I will receive everything.

How do I break the Law of Auset by not pausing and observing?

I still operate from my ego, my lower nature.

That is all for now. I wish you great fortune. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 10 -- Auset

Hetep Everyone,

Thoughts pop into my mind all day. Most times -- no, I can't truthfully say that anymore -- quite often, these thoughts are awful, very negative scenarios. They come in the forms of daydreams, absorptions, moments of absent-mindedness, or emotional states. All of these forms are types of trances as described by Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Tree of Life Meditation System, page 200.

These forms of thought belong to the territory of Auset. It is Heru's job to interrupt these types of thoughts as they do not serve my efforts to subjugate my ego identity (Auset) to my Divine Being (Ausar). Growing stronger at interrupting these thoughts means that I am strengthening my skills at Men Ab meditation. This is a wakeful meditation, specifically designed to teach us how to vigilantly interrupt or block thoughts that do not serve our Divinity.

In addition to those runaway thoughts being negative and dis-serving, they are almost always false. They feed and energize dis-serving illusions that are difficult to discern. Almost always, this leads to dis-serving behavior and decisions based upon false information.

Being unable to distinguish between illusion and truth has gotten so bad for me that I have been unable to rely on my intuition. It's been like a vicious circle, chasing my own tail, trying to determine truth from illusion. In trying to develop the skills of Men Ab, I was working from the premise that the cultivation was a complex process, but now I feel that if I just learn to block those awful thoughts, I'll be able to advance from there as I grow in my understanding.

What does this have to do with my meditation objective? Once again, here is my objective: I want to experience my purpose in God's Divine plan based upon truthful premises, determined by relationships of how my functions (thoughts, feelings, and actions) fit the form I'm trying to create (my purpose).

Here is possibly the greatest insight I have received from this meditation cycle.

Choice is the main focus of conscious, deliberate meditation whether it is Men Ab or trance. If you have followed my meditation posts for a while, then you already know that I do not respond well to being or feeling forced to do things. I adopted this attitude to help me heal from childhood trauma. I have worked hard to learn how to change my perception to desire doing what needs to be done. That way, no force is necessary.

In fact, when those negative thoughts lean toward me feeling that I am forced to do something, I determine the truth of the thought by remembering that Maat's feather represents the lightness of the application of Divine Law. There is no coercion. We must choose. If we are not paying attention, we won't even know that we are being beckoned to follow the laws. This concept helps me to easily dismiss some of my negative thoughts.

Choosing to fit my functions (thoughts, feelings and actions) to the form of creating my Divine purpose is a way of providing structured guidelines for Men Ab meditations -- blocking negative, dis-serving thoughts that hinder my efforts.

The other side of choice, in terms of Heru, is that not only does Heru energy block those awful, behavior-stimulating thoughts, the energy can be used to replace those thoughts with visions and beliefs that support the behavior to create the form of my Divine purpose. It's sort of like a block and counter-punch at the same time.

The Heru energy is designed to fight the energy of Set. Set energy is the energy that we use to justify doing what we know is wrong -- like the saying, "The devil made me do it." Heru wins if we transcend Set's energy and make choices that advance our Divinity on earth. Set wins if we just spend a lot of time debating the issues of transcendence, not to mention, choosing what develops our ego selves.

To quote, Ra Un Nefer Amen from his book, Tree of Life Meditation System, page 177:

Heru is the set of energized ideas aimed at manifesting behavior on the basis of the identity of the waking consciousness with Ausar...Set is the set of energized ideas aimed at manifesting behavior on the basis of the identity of the waking consciousness with the person.

The key here for me is "energized ideas." These energized ideas work for or against our Divinity. The ideas become energized by the energies of spheres 7 (Het-Heru) and 8 (Sebek). The medium through which these energies travel is Auset energy -- trance.

We are now back where we started. Auset energy -- trance energy -- in the forms of daydreams, absorptions, moments of absent-mindedness, or emotional states represent the means of energizing the ideas that support either Divinity (Ausar) or ego (AuSet). I must add to the list of forms of trance, mediumistic trance -- formal sit-down sessions of meditation.

It boils down to this. Either we energize those dis-serving ideas unconsciously or deliberately (Set) or we consciously choose (Heru) to direct the content of our daydreams, absorptions, moments of absent-mindedness, emotional states, and, especially, mediumistic trance sessions. Mediumistic trance greatly assists our desire to use the Heru energy to consciously direct the content of our waking trance states toward our Divinity.

Here is the Law of Auset, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

Auset: I am prepared to sacrifice everything in order to become the vessel of God on earth. In return, I will receive everything.

How do I break the Law of Auset?

I have been guilty of ignoring and trivializing my cultivation of all forms of trance states.

Well, that's it for now. I wish you great fortune. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 10 -- Auset

Hetep Everyone,

I think I may have made a big, but correctable mistake. When I began this meditation cycle, I wanted not just to understand my worth, but to experience it as a Divine Being. I realized that I was focusing a great deal on understanding why I felt unworthy. Since I was manifesting reasons for feeling unworthy instead of solutions for feeling worthy, I realized that I could focus more on being a Divine Being, which surely should lead to solutions that would allow me to feel worthy.

I believe that this plan is working. I have manifested a tremendous insight. When speaking to a community elder about wanting to feel more worthy, she said my problem was a "Pam-being-kind-to-Pam problem." She meant that I can be very kind to others, but I have a huge problem being kind to myself.

One Sista said about me that I don't feel that I deserve the kindness and that she understood it because she had the same problem -- that this is a part of the legacy left to us by Willie Lynch. She told me that feeling unworthy is a bigger problem in the black community than I could imagine and that I was not alone.

My mistake was that although I heard what these women said, I did not internalize it. I brushed aside the importance of being kind to myself.

Before I get into this I must say that one aspect of Auset is that Auset energy represents the personality, the ego -- the side of me that wants to feel worthy. I want to give you the law of Auset and then discuss how I am breaking this law.

Here is the Law of Auset, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

Auset: I am prepared to sacrifice everything in order to become God's vessel on earth. In return, I will receive everything.

How do I break the Law of Auset by not experiencing my worth as a Divine Being?

Auset represents the 9th Sphere on the Tree of Life. The complement to Auset is Ausar, the 1st Sphere. Since Auset represents the ego, then Ausar represents the Divine Being. These two faculties are like pedals on a bicycle. Both are needed to move the vehicle. Having only one will not work.

In my effort to focus only on my Self as a Divine Being (an aspect of Ausar), I may have been trying to ride a bicycle with only one pedal.

I'm going to listen to my elder and my Sista and learn to be kind to myself while still being submissive to my Self as a Divine Being. I'll begin by listening to India.Arie's I'm Having a Private Party. Ashe!

That is it for now. Until next time,
Hetep