Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 21 -- Amen

Hetep Everyone,

Amen is the subjective realm. Nothing exists in this realm, yet all comes from it. Everything comes from it and everything must return to it. Amen is the ultimate paradox and the great equalizer. It is a state of existence that has no beginning and no end. It just is. Everything that we think exists exists because we think it does. This is what gives us the likeness of God -- our beliefs and our ability to change those beliefs, thus changing reality.

These are fancy words. Change your beliefs and you change your reality. I have had to clear away a lot of sludge-filled emotions to understand the truth of these words. Now, from the lessons I've learned during this meditation cycle, I am in the process of programming my spirit to live this truth.

Here are some of the things that this meditation cycle has taught me:

• Change my images, beliefs, and affirmations to ones of joy in order to transform my thoughts, feelings and actions.
• Transform my thoughts, feelings, and actions to fit the form and function of my circumstances and situations.
• Fit the form and function of my thoughts, feelings, and actions to suit my purpose in God's Divine plan for me.
• Always claim and reclaim my peace so that I may fulfill my purpose in God's Divine plan for me.
• I can always reclaim my peace by transforming my thoughts, feelings, and actions.
• My worth as a Divine Being lies in my developing my true Self so that I may fulfill my purpose in God's Divine Plan for me.

For the rest of this meditation cycle, I will continue to program my spirit to accept these lessons.

Well, that's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 20 -- Ausar

Hetep Everyone,

Here is an excerpt from my posting on Day 2 -- Ausar -- of this meditation cycle:

"What will be the end result? No idea. I hope that I will be much more forgiving of myself and more compassionate. I hope that I will be more willing to try new things and perform more consistently with the things I want to keep doing. What I'm truly hoping for is a paradigm shift. We will see."

At the end of a meditation cycle, it's always fascinating to go back and review my state of mind at the beginning. I was right. Indeed, I have been guided toward a paradigm shift from sadness to joy. It's been a convoluted journey, with me learning just how sad I've been and how much of a hold that has had on my life, but also, it has been a productive journey, realizing that I have been preparing for this paradigm shift for quite some time.

At the beginning of this cycle, when I felt so much pain for not knowing my worth, I had connected my worth to money, social status, academic achievement, and other factors that are sorely limited to human ability. I did manage, however, to see my worth in connection to my true Self, Ausar and I began to understand that Ausar is not limited.

I wanted to understand my Divine worth in practical terms not theoretical. What I discovered was a need to be able to transform images that disturbed my peace into images of joy. This, I discovered, can only happen through a change in perspective. I am learning that sense perspective determines how we view and interpret reality, developing the skills necessary to manage my perspective is becoming a powerful tool in how I am able to manage my emotions, and, therefore, my worth.

Now, this may sound strange, but this is what our ancestors knew and what physicists today are studying: we see what we believe we can see. Here is an example of what I mean. For about two years now, I've been seeking a way to have joy without fearing that I could lose it or have it stolen from me. This meditation cycle has taught me how profoundly sad I have been. I think that the only reason I could not see this in the manner that I see it now is because I believe that I can regenerate any joy that I might lose and that I can program this technique into my spirit so that I can call upon it at will.

Sadness was simply the unrecognized paradigm by which I lived my life. I could only see my sadness because now I can see my joy. I have a choice that is very clear to me. I am free now to choose a new paradigm.

Well, that's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 19 -- Tehuti

Hetep Everyone,

I've been trying to change my thought paradigm from one of life-long sadness and pessimism to joy and optimism. Some friends of mine described my efforts as standing toe-to-toe with my addiction to sadness. Well, I didn't take it that far, myself, but I guess this is exactly what it is.

Although it doesn't feel very pleasant right now, I can't help but see that what I'm doing is a good thing. When I started looking at my worth, my meditation objective, I felt as if feeling good about myself would be near impossible, but I've done enough meditation cycles to know that something wonderful was going to come of this. I feel much stronger about myself -- my egoic self. I didn't know that it would lead to this wonderful discovery of needing to replace sadness with joy. I've wanted to be able to do this for a long time and now, I'm ready for it.

Well, that's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 18 -- Seker

Hetep Everyone,

The journey of this meditation cycle has been quite a ride. I've gone from feeling sorry for myself because I did not know how to evaluate my worth, to looking at my Self from the point of view of a Divine Being, and then back to looking at my worth to help cultivate my ego into one that is healthy, yet submissive to Ausar. This last area has been the most revealing.

I have discovered that I basically have been a very sad person, malnourished of joy. To counteract this, I have been actively seeking images of joy for the things that I do on a daily basis. Sometimes, this is very difficult because I am so used to complaining, that I find I have no idea what joyful images I can use to replace the ones that are sad. I am committed, however, to finding joyful images. I desire greatly to practice the belief that there is always something to be glad about if you look hard enough for it.

Why is this so important?

Life force energy (Ra, Chi, Kundalini) is greatly assisted by joy (Het-Heru energy) and greatly drained by negative emotions. My profound sadness is a reflection of my depleted life force energy. Joyful images inspire joyful thoughts, feelings, and actions; thus, a joyful life -- a life worth living; a life worthy of a Divine Being.

The opposite, of course, is true. Negative images inspire negative (limited) thoughts, feelings, and actions; thus, a negative life -- a devalued life; a life beset by the limitations of only being a human being. This is a life that has no hope of reaching the energy level of the unfathomable spiritual power of Seker.

Well, that's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 17 -- Maat

Hetep Everyone,

I'm sure that you have noticed that my posts are off. I will try to catch them up.

I am having some tremendous insights regarding the enjoyment task that I have given myself. The thing that I have noticed most is that I'm less critical of myself and that it's easier to look for things to enjoy rather than things to criticize. I even found myself admonishing my niece for implying that the harsh things in life are true reality and that the enjoyable things are fantasy.

The Law of Amen teaches that both perspectives are true and that our conditioning (training, programming) has taught us that only one perspective can be real. Most probably, our experiences in society have taught us that pain is more real than joy so we scoff at joy. The Metu Neter teaches the system of how to avoid or solve conflicts so that we can consistently have peace, allowing the fulfillment of the Law of Amen.

Here is the Law of Amen, based upon Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: The 11 Laws of God, -- You were made in the likeness of a peace that nothing can disturb. Reclaim your peace that you may attain to your reason for coming into existence -- the enjoyment of life. The Law of Amen is set above the Tree of Life, not on it. This means that all of the other ten laws allow you to be able to practice the Law of Amen.

Maat is the coordinator of all the laws. Two of the concepts that help me to grasp the coordination of Maat are interdependence and inter-relationship. Today, these concepts are explained as "holism" or "holistic thinking."

I don't pretend that I can adequately explain these concepts to you because I still am growing into my own understanding of them. However, studying the natal chart of my horoscope and the natal charts of other people has become good practice for my understanding of the way that Maat's coordination works and why it leads to peace and joy.

Every imagined society based upon joy, created from a European perspective that I have seen shows a society that does nothing except play or "Walk Around Heaven All Day," as the song says. It's like everyone's desire for thinking just stops. However, our ancestors left us blueprints that explain what to do with a society based upon joy -- build a society based upon advancing life and creation. They were able to do this because of their advanced understanding of death and loss, far removed from the limitations of pain.

My point is that if you scoff at joy as a societal aim, please reconsider the power of perspective.

This is all for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 16 -- HeruKhuti

Hetep Everyone,

I have given myself an assignment to record each of my daily tasks and to record what I enjoy most about the task. No matter how small it is, I must think of something I genuinely enjoy.

What an eye opener this has been. The assignment is much more difficult for me than I could have imagined. I have discovered that I complain too much and that I am very sad. I didn't know how sad I've been. It's not a nice thing to learn about myself, but, at least now, I know it.

I've decided to look for joyful images so that I can, through meditation, replace the images that have been causing me sadness. What is funny about this is that now I can feel the wait of the sadness. No wonder each task has always felt like such a burden.

In burdening myself down like this, I have not been just with myself, and, therefore, I have not been able to discover my worth. HeruKhuti deals with justice. Here is the Law of HeruKhuti, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book Maat: the 11 Laws of God: I know that God neither punishes, nor rewards, nor protects. I have the comfort of controlling these for myself.

In learning to transform burdening, sad images into joyful ones, I think I'm well on my way to learning how to be just with my Self and discovering my worth.

Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 15 -- Heru

Hetep Everyone,

One of the things that I learned since my last posting was my need to be able to picture in my mind what I want for my egoic self. The reason for this is that my ego must be healthy as well as submissive to Ausar, my true Self. A healthy ego is a happy ego. I have to know that my life here is not about suffering, but about enjoying the experience of living under any circumstances.

Because it has been so difficult for me to believe that I can have what I want, due to crippling anxiety, I have decided to give myself a task, as an experiment.

I'm going to keep a journal of my daily tasks. For each task, I must answer the question what I most enjoy about performing the task. I cannot accept, "I don't know," for an answer. I have to come up with something.

This morning, when I asked what I enjoyed most about waking up and had difficulty answering the question, I knew I was in trouble. Just for the record, after much consideration, my answer was, "Recognizing that I have the power to transform my day/emotions into something enjoyable."

It would be incredible if this experiment leads to a permanent paradigm shift toward enjoying my life.

Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 14 -- Het-Heru

Hetep Everyone,

This meditation cycle is about experiencing my worth as a Divine Being. I've discovered that one of the obstacles for achieving this goal is my tendency to have crippling anxiety attacks, making it difficult for me to function properly or consistently. These anxiety attacks are triggered by preconditioned responses to experiences that feel like the sources of trauma which have occurred throughout my life since my infancy. These anxiety attacks are based upon illusions that seem real. My responses to the illusions are feelings of powerlessness and a sense of being stripped of authority. In most cases, the situation does not warrant such responses, but, because my emotions are real, I cannot accurately evaluate the situation, and, therefore, cannot provide a proper response.

What is the solution? I'm discovering that there are many solutions.

• I could learn to pause and see through the illusions.
• I could use the technique that I used to heal part of my anxiety -- regressive meditation, going back to the point in my infancy that I have identified as the source or one of the sources of the anxiety.
• I could cultivate my understanding of my Divine purpose. I have a funny feeling, however, that I am living my purpose, sharing my journey of healing with you. Perhaps I expected that fulfilling my purpose would be something huge and glamorous, creating lots and lots of money.
  
  Maybe, instead of cultivating an understanding of my purpose, I should cultivate acceptance of it.
• I could cultivate joy (passion) for living my purpose.
• I could cultivate my Ra (life force energy) and direct it toward living my purpose.

I have a great many psychological barriers protecting the sources of my anxiety. My goal is just to keep hammering at them in different ways until they shatter.

During this meditation cycle, I tried looking at my Self as a Divine Being and discovered that, alone, this was not enough. I needed to go back and look at my egoic self. This is what I am doing now. It's very painful, but tolerable, as long as I continue to exercise patience with myself.

One thing that I have noticed is that it is difficult for me to see myself having what I want or even to picture what I want for myself. This is a Pam-being-kind-to-Pam problem -- one that is perfect for Het-Heru.

Okay, just to put all of this together, if I use my Ra (life force) to stimulate my imagination, I could create images in which I see my actions of accepting my Divine purpose, and, therefore, my worth as a Divine Being.

Along these lines, I want to share this quote with you from Ra Un Nefer Amen's book, Tree of Life Meditation System (T.O.L.M.)p. 186.

"Actions cannot be carried out without energy. The energies through which we are motivated (that provide the motor power -e-motions, passions) to act in the world, are invoked and organized by the images manipulated through the faculty of imagination."

All of this, of course, has to be taken into mediumistic trance meditation in order to program this information into my spirit so that I can use it as an act of will and automatic response.

Well, that's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 13 -- Sebek

Hetep Everyone,

I knew that facing my feelings of unworthiness -- one of my phobias -- would be difficult and that most probably this meditation cycle would not be very smooth. I've impressed myself by posting as consistently as I have.

I know that my feelings of unworthiness stem from trauma that I suffered in my infancy. I discovered this when I was able to heal some other traumas from that period in my life, but I left my feelings of unworthiness to be addressed at another time. That time is now, this meditation cycle.

These feelings of unworthiness manifest themselves in several ways. Here are two:

• I feel as if I cannot protect or take care of myself.
• I feel that I have no authority.

These feelings seem very real to me, causing crippling anxiety. In healing other parts of my traumatic experiences, I was able to eradicate a great deal of anxiety so I have been through these feelings before. The first time was the worst. I could not function.

The hardest part of these anxiety attacks is seeing through the illusion long enough to realize or remember that I not only can make the problem go away, but I can create a different reality. This is theory put into practice -- staring down the face of some of my greatest fears and turning them into amicable strengths.

Some of you will understand crippling anxiety, having gone through it yourself. Others will judge it as weakness or laziness and easily dismiss it. What follows is written for those who have the compassion to continue reading and those who can find some value in what I want to communicate.

From the midst of my anxiety and inaction, something somewhere from deep inside of me calls for the Universe to help me see through the illusion. Since I build up walls to protect and hang on to the anxiety and fear, sometimes it takes a while for a breakthrough. Sometimes, I remember a catalytic thought, allowing me to snap out of the illusion and transform my life and other times, I am simply moved to review my notes where I keep step-by-step details for coming out of an anxiety attack.

This time, I have been fortunate to have been moved to review my notes, some of which I will share with you. Before I do that, however, I need to discuss Amen.

One of the aspects of Amen is that it is the source of all in an unconditioned, formless state of oneness. You can call Amen nothingness, the primordial, the void. Nothing in an Amen state can be identified, because it has no form. This is a paradoxical state because we always exist in this state, and, yet, we don't, because we also are in form and can be identified. This is what makes illusions seem so real and this is the key to breaking through illusions -- remembering, that everything is always in a formless state even as we recognize a form. This is the power of perception.

In the movie, What the Bleep!? - Down the Rabbit Hole (QUANTUM Three-Disc Special Edition) , a wonderful explanation of the vast power of perception is offered. What I gleaned from it is that human thought has the power of an atomic bomb or atomic bombs. This energy is necessary because it is what holds for us reality (matter) into its form.

It gets complicated, but essentially, nothing is solid. We have been trained to detect reality based only upon what our five senses can identify. Our sixth sense (what we've come to call intuition), is our conscious connection to the electromagnetic fields of energy. It is here where we can understand that we have a tremendous power to change what we perceive to be reality. Why? Because ultimately everything is formless until we apply to it meaning and identity. When we consciously control that application, we as creators, change reality. As above, so below.

In the midst of an anxiety attack, this sense of power is unthinkable. Once I am able to break through the illusion of an anxiety attack, I have to consciously work my way back to understanding my power, using the 11 Laws of Maat.

Here is something that I wrote that reading really helps once I come from under the influence of an anxiety attack. I give much credit to What the Bleep!? - Down the Rabbit Hole (QUANTUM Three-Disc Special Edition) and Ra Un Nefer Amen and the affirmations in the Sebek part of his book, Tree of Life Meditation System (T.O.L.M.), pages 222-227.

The wording below is directed at the source of my anxiety attack.

"It is only my belief in you that makes you real and the meaning that I give to you. You are matter held in form by my belief in you. That belief is based upon energy that is more powerful than an atomic bomb or perhaps many atomic bombs. I have been choosing to use that energy to hold your form in tact.

"I now choose to recognize that the energy and my choice of how that energy is to be used represent my likeness to God. This is the power of God inside of me. 'I am the power of God -- not in amount, but in kind. Thus, I am relaxed in the face of the greatest challenges' (Ra Un Nefer Amen).

"By recognizing you as energy/matter and the consciousness/will, empowered by the meaning that I give to you, I can enjoy choosing to change your meaning, and, therefore, your form and function into a reflection that promotes my Divinity -- which is 'an unlimited capacity to manifest and accomplish' (Ra Un Nefer Amen). This all means that I am a creator."

I hope that this information is helpful.

Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 12 -- Auset

Hetep Everyone,

Day 12 is the programming phase of the meditation cycle. At this point, I am to tally something called a Spiritual Quotient. This is a measurable account of my alignment with my True Self as a Divine Being.

During the first phase of the cycle, the examining phase, I studied my worth as a Divine Being from the perspectives of each deity or principle on the Tree of Life. Ra Un Nefer Amen, in his book, Tree of Life Meditation System, devotes one chapter per deity to explain these perspectives and possible ways in which I, as the meditator, break each law by not having already what I have requested in the meditation cycle.

At the end of each chapter are questions that help me to assess how well I am complying with each law. Affirmative answers are awarded points. The more points I have at the end of the examining phase, the higher my Spiritual Quotient.

It is difficult for me to amass points because I have difficulty complying with the laws. I could beat myself up and say, "Oh, you're a sinner," but that would not be true. The point of the meditation cycle is to program my spirit, to train myself, to comply with the laws. This takes time and lots of practice. It is almost impossible to read the laws and practice them consistently without training.

You would not expect a 300lb couch potato to run a marathon and then judge him for collapsing after the first quarter mile. But, if he were properly trained and committed to the conditioning, he could, over time, learn to do it -- with joy and enthusiasm. The same thing applies to following the laws.

My spiritual quotient is always very low -- less than 20. As Ra Un Nefer Amen puts it in Tree of Life Meditation System, " A person with a score below 109 is spiritually unstable and greatly dependent on circumstances for stability in their lives" (p. 217). I don't worry about this because I'm committed to following the meditation cycles and I have a lot of areas in my life that need to be reprogrammed. I can see progress.

Once I receive my spiritual quotient, the next step for me is to perform a meditation dedicated to the Sorrows of Auset. This helps me to reflect on genuine remorse for not living my life as a Divine Being and either to manifest my request or to remove my desire for the request.

Following this meditation, I would perform a second meditation in which I envision myself as my True Self -- Divine Being -- performing in a manor consistent with the 11 Laws. By this time, from my studies of myself, I would have some idea of what this manor would be, whether it would be seeing my Self receiving what I requested or performing an action in which my request was no longer needed.

For my Sorrows of Auset meditation, I visualized myself learning how to love me -- my person, my egoic self. I never learned to do this. I would always act under the assumption that I loved myself without any regard for the fact that I was never trained how to do it.

Why would I need training for something that is supposed to be "natural"? I've lived in trauma most of my life, some of it imposed upon me and a lot of it self-imposed. I am a descendant of the Willie Lynch legacies of slavery and segregation. Almost everyone I know suffers from this trauma. I think that training myself how to love myself is pivotal to living my life both as an earth-bound being and as a Divine Being with an infinite existence.

Well, this is all for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 11 -- Geb

Hetep Everyone,

This post represents the last day of examining my worthiness as a Divine Being. The next phase of the meditation cycle will involve programming my spirit to accept my sense of worthiness as a Divine Spirit. But before we get to that, let's talk about Geb.

Geb represents all forms of the physical. This includes not only what we can detect through our five senses, but electromagnetic energy. Throughout this meditation cycle, I have become more and more attracted to understanding electromagnetic energy. I want to know how it works through us and how it can be projected as Love energy.

During the day, while taking a series of deep breaths, I have been stimulating my Chakra points by imagining them one-by-one and infusing them with love to increase the energy of my Ra force (life force). I have felt from this a greater capacity of sustaining my emotions on a more even keel, giving me more confidence to manage my daily circumstances. What I have noticed is that I have to do this on a regular basis.

It feels more like plugging myself into a socket to acquire more energy instead of running on battery power, which is only recharged by sleep and food. Given the demands of today's society, sleep and food seem very inadequate sources of energy. If I do not stimulate my Chakras, I do not achieve the energizing effect.

Here is the Law of Geb, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

Geb: I know that from Heaven I came and to Heaven I will return. I seek not enduring works on earth.

How do I break the Law of Geb by not experiencing my worth as a Divine Being?

I have not managed to consistently cultivate my Ra Force.

That is it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 10 -- Auset

Hetep Everyone,

I think I may have made a big, but correctable mistake. When I began this meditation cycle, I wanted not just to understand my worth, but to experience it as a Divine Being. I realized that I was focusing a great deal on understanding why I felt unworthy. Since I was manifesting reasons for feeling unworthy instead of solutions for feeling worthy, I realized that I could focus more on being a Divine Being, which surely should lead to solutions that would allow me to feel worthy.

I believe that this plan is working. I have manifested a tremendous insight. When speaking to a community elder about wanting to feel more worthy, she said my problem was a "Pam-being-kind-to-Pam problem." She meant that I can be very kind to others, but I have a huge problem being kind to myself.

One Sista said about me that I don't feel that I deserve the kindness and that she understood it because she had the same problem -- that this is a part of the legacy left to us by Willie Lynch. She told me that feeling unworthy is a bigger problem in the black community than I could imagine and that I was not alone.

My mistake was that although I heard what these women said, I did not internalize it. I brushed aside the importance of being kind to myself.

Before I get into this I must say that one aspect of Auset is that Auset energy represents the personality, the ego -- the side of me that wants to feel worthy. I want to give you the law of Auset and then discuss how I am breaking this law.

Here is the Law of Auset, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

Auset: I am prepared to sacrifice everything in order to become God's vessel on earth. In return, I will receive everything.

How do I break the Law of Auset by not experiencing my worth as a Divine Being?

Auset represents the 9th Sphere on the Tree of Life. The complement to Auset is Ausar, the 1st Sphere. Since Auset represents the ego, then Ausar represents the Divine Being. These two faculties are like pedals on a bicycle. Both are needed to move the vehicle. Having only one will not work.

In my effort to focus only on my Self as a Divine Being (an aspect of Ausar), I may have been trying to ride a bicycle with only one pedal.

I'm going to listen to my elder and my Sista and learn to be kind to myself while still being submissive to my Self as a Divine Being. I'll begin by listening to India.Arie's I'm Having a Private Party. Ashe!

That is it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 9 -- Sebek

Hetep Everyone,

One of the most painful things about the energy of Sebek is discovering that the premise or the paradigm by which you live your life is false. For instance, let's take the subject of worthiness, since the object of this meditation cycle is experiencing my worth as a Divine Being.

I've lived my life expecting others, especially my mother and employers, to define my worth. Learning that this, in itself, devalues my worth and that defining my worth is my responsibility has been painful. How much time and energy have I wasted? How many opportunities for love and joy have I missed, waiting in pain and longing for someone else to approve me or for perfect circumstances to arise so that I could say, "Hey, I'm worthy!"?

Ultimately, those questions are irrelevant. What is relevant is that I accept responsibility for redefining how I determine my worth. That can be scary. Fortunately, the Tree of Life Meditation System is designed for just such a purpose.

Here is the Law of Sebek, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God

Sebek: It is not what I think or affirm. It is who is thinking and affirming. Am I a human or a Divine Being?

How do I break the Law of Sebek by not experiencing my worth as a Divine Being?

I believe that I need to focus more on defining my worthiness than on understanding my existence as a Divine Being.

That is it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 8 -- Het-Heru

Hetep Everyone,

I see myself as a human,filled with limitations. Mostly, my perception of life is influenced by a paradigm of scarcity. I don't have enough time, patience, energy, money, space, love, compassion, resources, etc.

From an intellectual standpoint, I know that the Creator of all operates from a paradigm of abundance. Think about this. You plant one seed. It grows and produces numerous fruits, which each have seeds that could be planted, also producing numerous fruits.

Scarcity is a concept given to us by people who want to hoard their bounty.

When it comes to grocery stores, paying rent, going to work, scarcity seems pretty real, but real is what we choose to identify as real. People who think "outside of the box" have different supportive perceptions, and, therefore, different realities.

My head knows all of this. Now, I just have to get my heart and will to learn it.

Here is the Law of Het-Heru, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

Het-Heru: It is not what I imagine. It is who is imagining. Am I a human or a Divine Being?

How do I break the Law of God by not experiencing my worth as a Divine Being?

I still see myself as a human and not a Divine Being.

That's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 7 -- Heru

Hetep Everyone,

Peace be Still.
Peace (Amen) be Still (Heru).
Amen be Heru.
Heru be Amen.
Still be Peace.
Be..."I Am"
Still, I am Peace.

Heru is the energy of learning to become still. Through stillness, wisdom, the eye of Tehuti, can reveal itself. With this understanding, I want to discuss an interpretation of the dream that I wrote about in my last posting. Here is the dream:

I became conscious of having a nightmare. Something was dead and trying to attack me. Normally, I would do a "poor me" and ask why or how I had attracted this energy and then I would run from it. This time, I stood my ground. I asked the image what it wanted. I called on the ancestors and other beneficent spirits for help. I called on alchemy. I told the image to transform -- to reveal its truth. The image became a kaleidoscope, transforming into different shapes that looked like all sorts of symbols and sometimes, distorted, frightening faces. I was reminded of images of ghosts that I had seen from the DVD, the Tibetan Book of the Dead. I tried to shine light energy on the scene to get the images to reveal their true nature. Eventually, the black background of the images began to crack and split, revealing green land, blue sky, and sunshine. I became less conscious of my dreaming, following deeper into sleep.

In the dream, I stand my ground. I become still and ask the images to reveal their true nature. I call on everything I can think of to give the images the energy they need in order to reveal their truth. I was calling on transformation. Is this one of the meanings of alchemy?

When I began this meditation cycle to experience my worth as a Divine Being, I knew that I was calling into manifestation experiences that would force me to call upon my worth as a Divine Being. I knew that it would not feel pleasant or comfortable. Of course, this is baring itself out. I wanted this experience so that I could obtain the knowledge of my worth, something only I could give to myself. I want to get rid of feelings of unworthiness in all circumstances.

What have I learned so far?

• Worthiness or unworthiness are concepts to which I give meaning, concepts that I do not even have to acknowledge as valuable. I've been trained to make these judgments and, therefore, can retrain myself away from these concepts.
• I need further understanding of what it means to be a Divine Being. I just know that through this understanding, I will understand my Self as a creator, living a creative purpose in perfect balance.
• I am resurrecting Ausar.

Here is the Law of Heru, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God

Heru: I have the power, but not the right, to ignore God's Law. I choose to follow the Law of God with the Love and Joy that grows from understanding so that the wisdom and power of God's spirit will flow through my being.

How do I break the Law of Heru by not experiencing my worth as a Divine Being?

I have not learned enough about becoming still.

This is all for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 6 -- HeruKhuti

Hetep Everyone,

I want to share a dream with you that I had recently.

I became conscious of having a nightmare. Something was dead and trying to attack me. Normally, I would do a "poor me" and ask why or how I had attracted this energy and then I would run from it. This time, I stood my ground. I asked the image what it wanted. I called on the ancestors and other beneficent spirits for help. I called on alchemy. I told the image to transform -- to reveal its truth. The image became a kaleidoscope, transforming into different shapes that looked like all sorts of symbols and sometimes, distorted, frightening faces. I was reminded of images of ghosts that I had seen from the DVD, the Tibetan Book of the Dead. I tried to shine light energy on the scene to get the images to reveal their true nature. Eventually, the black background of the images began to crack and split, revealing green land, blue sky, and sunshine. I became less conscious of my dreaming, following deeper into sleep.

When I awoke partially, I was disappointed that I had not received a message from the images. Spirit revealed to me that I had received a message: I stood my ground; I didn't have an anxiety attack; I didn't run; and I called on assistance. I prevented my Self from feeling alone and helpless.

That was enough of a message.

When I woke up completely, this is what came to my mind. "You have to be at a certain level to act like a Divine Being so stop beating yourself up."

On the Tree of Life, HeruKhuti is the 5th sphere -- half way up the tree. By starting at the 10th sphere and working my way up, I have plenty of time and room to make mistakes and get things right. I have time to "Know My Self." I have time to heal and to fulfill my purpose. I have time to feel good about being my "I Am."

Here is the Law of HeruKhuti, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book Maat: the 11 Laws of God.

HeruKhuti: I know that God neither punishes nor rewards nor protects. I have the comfort of controlling these for myself.

How do I break the Law of HeruKhuti by not experiencing my worth as a Divine Being?

I expect some outside source to protect me, to give me things that will make me feel worthy. I fight myself and the experiences that will reveal my true nature as a peaceful, loving, Divine Being. The song, Let It Be, just came to my mind, so I thought I would include the video. Hope you enjoy it.

Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 5 -- Maat

Hetep Everyone,

What if being a Divine Being means simply fulfilling your purpose and using that paradigm to make your decisions?

I know there's more to it than that -- a lot more, but what a starting point? You would have to know what your purpose is. I used an Oracle reading from the Metu Neter cards, my astrological natal chart (North Node) and dreams to learn that my purpose, first is to heal from the vestiges of slavery and segregation which I inherited from my parents and grandparents and then to learn how to teach what I know about reclaiming inner peace. This is the direction in which I'm traveling.

Here is the Law of Maat, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat: the 11 Laws of God

Maat -- God needs me in order to come into the world. Fulfilling God's need is the highest act of love and only through my love for God can I fulfill my love for others. I become the love of God in the world for the protection of the world.

How do I break the Law of Maat be not experiencing my worth as a Divine Being?

I have not committed to fulfilling my purpose, allowing God to come into the world through me. I'm still healing so I'm cutting my Self a little slack. I am happy, however, to focus now on fulfilling my purpose instead of healing feelings of worthlessness. My purpose creates my worthiness. I just have to program this into my will.

That's all for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 4 -- Seker

Hetep Everyone,

Fear, anger, anxiety, hatred, and almost all negative feelings may come from the same source, a lack of forehand knowledge in spiritual power -- the territory of Seker. I believe in spiritual power, but I don't know it from experience. If I had knowledge of it, I would never forget it, yielding to all of those negative emotions.

I am highly grateful that I am learning (very slowly, however) from experience that one of the greatest tools that I have at my disposal is my perspective, the way I see, understand and interpret everything. Even more important is the fact that I can change my perspective. In the midst of an anxiety attack, I can change my perspective to realize that I have access to spiritual power, which can help me change the situation. All I have to do is to develop the skill to do so and this is one of the greatest purposes of the Tree of Life Meditation System.

Here is the Law of Seker, personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat, the 11 Laws of God:

Seker -- When the emotions of man manifest in response to the word of God, they have the power to influence the course of any and all events in the world.

How do I break the Law of Seker by not experiencing my worth as a Divine Being?

I forget that I can change my perspective, thus, change my emotions, and in doing so, influence the course of any and all events in the world.

Insight: This is an extremely powerful statement and in the presence of this Western society almost impossible to believe, but I do work hard to go beyond belief to experience.

Well, that's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 3 -- Tehuti

Hetep Everyone,

My posts are off, meaning that I am one post behind. This is due to my meditations being off. I apologize for this. I've got to work hard to catch up. As I stated many times during the postings of the last meditation cycle, what I find most significant is persistence, not perfection. In my defense, however, I am constantly searching for more ways to be more consistent. I beg your indulgence.

The objective of this meditation cycle is to experience my worth as a Divine Being, focusing on both my worthiness and my Self as a Divine Being.

First, in understanding Tehuti, I had to learn and still have to learn about perception and meaning. Mostly, what I'm learning is that nothing has any meaning until I give it meaning.

Think about a baby reaching to touch a hot heater. To the baby, she is just experiencing the sense called, "touch". Adults will say to the baby, "Hot!, Hot!," giving to the baby the meaning of "hot". However, a Yogi, or someone highly skilled in mind control can apply their finger to a flame, hold it there and experience no pain or burns. My point is that meaning is conditional, based upon perception. This tells me that I have the power to determine the meaning of my own worth and worthiness.

Isn't this a powerful thought? I have the power to choose my perception, thus changing the meaning of anything I want. Let me give an example of what I mean by perception in terms of my worth as a person and not a Divine Being.

I'm in Wal-Mart, right? I'm walking down the aisles looking at things I want, but I don't have the money to buy them. How do I feel? Deprived? Impoverished? Desperate for more money?

Let's change the scene.

In my imagination, I am in a cornfield wearing the crown of Ausar. All around me is lush, green vegetation. I can have all that I want there. My access is unlimited and the abundance is infinite. How do I feel? Blessed? Rich? Sated?

Under both circumstances, I'm in a place of plenty, but my perception of what I have access to is different. Is it possible to be in Wal-Mart with little money and feel blessed, rich, and sated. Similarly, is it possible to be in a lush cornfield with unlimited access and feel deprived, impoverished, and desperate for money no matter how much I have? Yes! I've experienced both perspectives in Wal-Mart and my imagination. The difference is a better understanding of Tehuti.

Tehuti is the all-seeing eye -- omniscience. If I concentrate less on how I feel and more on the meaning of my purpose for being in Wal-Mart then my perspective becomes more focused and my choices become clearer. I am able better to accept my circumstances. Why? Tehuti helps you to detach yourself from the things you don't need and to accept the things you do need all without resentment. This is the result of a clearer understanding of purpose and what must be done to fulfill that purpose.

Currently, I am growing into this understanding. What is unclear to me is my understanding of my Self as a Divine Being. As a Divine Being, should I even concern myself with the concept of worth? Am I worthy merely by existing and acknowledging my worth? Can I do nothing and still be worthy? Is there a difference between being worthy and Divine?

I don't have any answers to these questions or the myriad others I could ask along these lines. I'm still searching, growing in my understanding.

Okay, let me give you the Law of Tehuti, which I have personalized from the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his book, Maat the 11 laws of God.

Tehuti: When all of my thoughts, feelings, and actions reflect the word of God, then the power of God's spirit and a peace that nothing can challenge will flow through my being.

How do I break the Law of Tehuti by not experiencing my worth as a Divine Being?

Insights:

• My thoughts reflect my desire to feel worthy as a Divine being, but not my feelings and actions.
• I have to work very hard to act upon the knowledge that I have access to a peace that nothing can challenge.

I'm going to stop here for now and just say...until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 2 -- Ausar

Hetep Everyone,

As I was sitting here trying to decide what to say, I glanced at the wording of my current objective, "I want to experience my worth as a Divine Being."

I've been focusing on the wrong side of things. I've been focusing on why and how I feel unworthy instead of focusing on experiencing my Self as Divine. I know what feeling unworthy feels like, but what does it feel like to feel Divine? Wow! This is only Day 2. Do you know what this means? By the end of this meditation cycle, most probably, I'm going to know what it feels like based upon experience, not just theory. Whoa! See, it's insights like these that keep me wanting to perform the meditation cycle, new moon after new moon.

What will be the end result? No idea. I hope that I will be much more forgiving of myself and more compassionate. I hope that I will be more willing to try new things and perform more consistently with the things I want to keep doing. What I'm truly hoping for is a paradigm shift. We will see.

Just so that my meditation from last night does not get wasted, let me share with you what I discovered. First, let me give you the Law of Ausar. I like to personalize the law based upon the words of Ra Un Nefer Amen from his book, Maat, The 11 Laws of God.

Ausar: My nature is an unconquerable peace; therefore, nothing and no one in the world can be against me. All experiences come to me to promote my reclamation of peace that I may acquire wisdom and power.

Insight -- My worthiness has always been tied to money and academic stature, not Divinity. Also, my worthiness has been tied to how well I followed the rules, not how well I fulfilled my purpose in the Divine Plan of the All -- the Creator of all.

I want to stop right here. There is a lot to consider, but there's no hurry. So, until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Day 1 -- Amen

Hetep Everyone,

Amen is a peace that nothing can disturb. We all have access to this level of peace on a consistence basis, but maintaining our awareness of this level of peace takes training, skill, and practice. This means that although I strive to achieve consistent awareness, I am not disturbed by my deficiencies because I persistently pursue my peace.

For this meditation cycle, I want to experience my worth as a Divine Being. Why? Only through experience can we "know". Everything else is theory. Once I have acquired this knowledge, I can apply it to every area of my life.

All of my life I have felt "unworthy". I don't know why. Pep talks, triumphs, positive thinking, etc. -- none of these things have penetrated this unworthy feeling. I'm beginning to think that this feeling is ancestral. Maybe some ancestor, during slavery, never healed herself in the spirit world and needs me to do it for her. Whatever the source, the time for healing this feeling has arrived.

Why do I want to experience my Self as a Divine Being? First, let me quote from Ra Un Nefer's book Tree of Life Meditation System, page 84, so that you will know somewhat the concept of Divine Being.

"The divine part of being is the faculty that coordinates and unifies our physiological and unconscious mental functions (Ausar, sphere 1). When one establishes the original and essential state of one's energy/matter -- 0 -- as the dominant 'emotion' [peace] in one's life, the divine part of being, Ausar, will extend its functions to the foreground of one's life."

What this means is that I want the outside of my life to run as smoothly as the functions of my body that I personally do not coordinate like, digestion, making sure that the oxygen I breathe in goes to my red blood cells and that the carbon dioxide flowing from my veins to my lungs gets exhaled from my body. The precision of these types of functions is beyond my conscious ability to mastermind. God takes care of these things. I want this same type of precision running my daily affairs. I want the experience of this, and, therefore, the true knowledge of it so that I can fulfill my life's purpose without obstacles.

Feeling unworthy is a huge obstacle. I want to release it back to the Universe -- Amen -- send it too its final resting place.

Now, my job during this part of the meditation cycle is to see how hanging on to feelings of being unworthy cause me to break the Law of Amen. First, let me give you the law. I've personalized it from the wording of Ra Un Nefer Amen in his Maat the 11 laws of God. I do this because I like the way it makes the law apply directly to me.

Amen -- I am made in the likeness of a peace that nothing can disturb. I reclaim my peace so that I may attain to the reason I have come into existence -- the enjoyment of life.

Here are some ways that I break this law:

• I forget that everything is void of value. The only value in anything is the value that I choose to give it or that which I agree is valuable because I was conditioned to accept it as valuable. This means that I can release the part of me that I describe as unworthy by releasing its meaning, thus, dispelling its power over me. I say this on a conscious level, but I want to know this subconsciously through experience.
• I forget the hidden nature of God. God is in everything...everything. If I could remember to look for God in everything, then I could strengthen my feelings of connection with God, with the All. You can't get more worthy than that, but like I said, it's one thing to say this or write about it. It's another thing to live it with an understanding that is so thorough that calling upon the knowledge and receiving a response is as natural as having my fingers respond to my intentions of typing this message for you. This is my goal, to be so connected with the All that my intentions automatically manifest themselves because they are in alignment with the All.

Well, this is it for now. Thanks for joining me on this next meditation cycle through another journey. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- The Night Before the New Moon

Hetep Everyone,

This is the night before the new moon so I am about to do my meditation for the new meditation cycle. I will be focusing on consciously experiencing my worth as a Divine Being. The phrasing may change, but the concept is the same.

It is one thing to read about being a Divine Being and theorizing about it, but it is another to experience it so that the the knowledge penetrates internally and becomes a part of my habitual reactions, thought processes and feelings. Only experience can give this to me so I am calling it forward.

Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Assessment

Hetep Everyone,

I hope that you don't mind if I give myself a pat on the back. Tonight represents the recording of one complete Tree of Life meditation cycle. Ashe!

Thank you for hanging in there with me. My hope is that by recording my journey, I can help others to better understand the process and help make myself more accountable to my own progress.

My original objective for this cycle was to manifest some money that I wanted. This did not occur. Instead, this cycle was successful in revealing why my objective did not manifest. Sometimes you ask the Universe for something and the answer is "no."

I discovered that my perceptions about money and my worthiness to receive money are faulty and must be corrected. Best of all, I have been able to overcome a lot of my anxieties toward the work that will lead me toward manifesting the money I want, not to mention attracting the assistance of others who will help me either get the money or its equivalent.

I'm very excited about this next meditation cycle. I will be working on something that is extremely uncomfortable for me, but will lead to tremendous growth -- my worthiness to both receive and to give the best that my potential has to offer. This is a sticky, gooey area in my life so I look forward to cleaning and clearing out this side of me so that beautiful things will grow there.

Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Assessment -- Amen

Hetep Everyone,

I spoke to a friend of mine today. He told me that he'd had a great day. When I said that I had had one too, he said , "Of course, you're a child of God." This sort of statement is accepted by so many religious and spiritual people that it has become almost irrefutable, but the Metu Neterteaches that there is a difference between being informed and knowing something.

Being informed is being told something, but knowing something, the Metu Neter says, is having experience of the information.

As I begin to wind up this meditation cycle with the new moon approaching, I've come to realize that I don't know who I am as a Divine Being. I have a great deal of information about being a Divine Being, but little knowledge of it. It is very easy for something to strike me the wrong way and I feel guilty and unworthy without understanding why. How can I receive the money from the Universe that I asked for if I feel unworthy of having it? This means that if I get it, I won't keep it long.

I had thought about focusing on developing my Men Ab meditation skills for the next meditation cycle, but I like to get at the heart of things, the most basic levels. I think that getting rid of the emotional buttons inside of me that are so easily and sporadically triggered is more important. I'm going to play with these themes before I make my decision, but in the meantime, from the Metu Neter, vol. 1 page 284, here are some positive qualities of Heru whose energies rule over Men Ab meditation:

• Magnanimous - noble; not petty, mean or selfish
• Desirous of power and leadership
• Full of vitality (hence, "Strong Willed")
• Zealous -- enthusiastic
• Noble
• Lofty -- very high, exalted or elevated in character
• Proud
• Ardent -- enthusiastic
• Authoritative
• Humane, etc.

How can a person who feels unworthy exhibit these qualities or maintain the fire energy to consistently perform Men Ab meditations? I have been searching and searching for the thing that blocks me from performing at the level I feel I should be using, but I have not discovered the source. One thing that I am sure of is that the walls are cracking and crumbling, but I want them down. I'm patient enough, however, to go through the process and enjoy the journey so I'll keep searching until I find it.

That's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Assessment -- Ausar

Hetep Everyone,

I've been having experiences that remind me of the yin/yang symbol in which part of the white exists in part of the black and visa versa. Basically, it seems that the Universe is trying to remind me that I must not try to be too perfect, to loosen up. I'm not sure that I fully comprehend the message I am receiving, but it feels as if The Universe is saying that in my approach I am disregarding compassion for my Self as well as others.

I know that more will be revealed to me later.

Until next time,
Hetep

Tree of Life Meditation System -- Assessment -- Tehuti

Hetep Everyone,

How will you recognize that you have what you want if you do not learn to transform your perspective to see it?

I remember saying to the Universe, "I want to learn what abundance is." I thought that I would get all of the things that I wanted -- a new car, new clothes, a fat bank account, etc. Instead, I found myself in a situation without money and no prospects of any in the foreseeable future.

It was then that I realized just how much food I had in the freezer and cupboards. I discovered that things I had been saving for a rainy day suddenly were needed and at my fingertips. In this manner, abundance slowly began to reveal itself.

I learned my lesson. Abundance was all around me.

I thought I would be clever. I asked the Universe to give me experiences of prosperity. Again, I found myself without money, yet I was able to recognize my abundance. This time, I learned to combine what I had in myriad ways that would be very expensive if I had purchased them from someone else and to distribute the techniques I used to feel rich in many areas of my life. I was able to share this technique with others.

Experiencing this lesson in prosperity is probably the greatest gift that I have received from this meditation cycle. Ashe.

To recognize that I already have what I want, including the power to call forth the specific things that I do not yet see -- could the paradigm shift I seek be this simple? By following the 11 Laws of Maat, the Universe will give me exactly what I ask for when my thoughts, feelings, and actions are in alignment.

Well that's it for now. Until next time,
Hetep